What's In My Crochet Bag - Baby Poll Edition

A friend of mine is having a baby. She is cute and sweet and stylish and the baby is a girl. I found a really cute sweater pattern that reminded me of her and then I tossed it. Because, you know, I never shoved my kids in those baby sweaters. They were kind of a pain and as my mom says, "Little finger and crochet don't always make a good match." So, I decided to do a blanket.

I found a blanket pattern that I really liked and began searching for yarn. This pattern has seven colors. You know, I hate color changes, but this seemed like so much fun. Anyway, the thing with seven colors is that you are going to have to buy at least seven skeins of yarn. And her nursery colors are green and brown. Kinda. Anyway, those are the colors I was going to use.

But in searching for the yarn, I discovered that I wasn't going to be able to make this blankie for any amount I can currently afford. I need yarn that is easy care and comes in a large selection of colors so I can get all my green and brown shades. And I just can't find what I need. So, now I am stymied.

I have a lovely sweater pattern that I think would be super cute, but probably not all that useful (especially since the baby is due in May and probably won't need a sweater for much of anything for a good long while). I have a blankie pattern that I can't afford to make. And of course, I have Ravelry, so it's not like I couldn't find a million other things to make.

But I want you all to weigh in. First of all, parents, did you dress your kids in pretty little sweatery things or was anything more complex that onsie plus sweatpants lost on you for the first six months or so? How did you feel about blankets that didn't match the nursery? Was there any other home crafted nugget of joy that was more useful/loved than blankies and sweaters? Secondly, crocheters, what is your go-to baby gift? What about your go-to baby yarn? Is there a simple solution when yarn selection and cost gets in the way of your vision? And thirdly, for anyone, should I go back to the sweater, come up with a different blanket pattern or just make something else entirely?

This shouldn't be as hard as it is.

Five Things on Friday - Weird Stuff I Keep in My Desk Edition

I covet that stapler, Milton.
Seriously.

I change jobs on Monday. It's not an exciting change. It's a little depressing, really, and I'm not going to dwell on it this weekend. However, I packed up the personal stuff in my desk to move to my new desk on Monday and I was thinking about office spaces. (Not the excellent movie, Office Space, although that pertains, but real office spaces. I've worked most of my life in some approximation of cubicle world and I have accumulated a few pieces of flair. You know the stuff that's supposed to show how individual you are that positively everyone has. It's just part of the life of a cubicle drone.

But, since I was packing and reminding myself of all my weird crap, I thought I'd share some of it with you. Therefore...


Five Pieces of Flair from Jessi's Desk

1. The Bat Signal - Years ago when I worked for a local chapter of a very well known national non-profit, we lunched a lot. At really cheap places. So, one day, at Bob Evans, I picked up a sucker on the way out. It had a Batman wrapper and a weird thick plastic stick. After I got to the car, I realized that the weird black plastic stick had a button that, when pressed, projected the Bat Signal. I ate the sucker, declaring it the coolest thing ever, and have saved the stick. Sometimes when I am feeling desperate, I illuminate the Bat Signal. It's sad, really.

2. The Blood Party - Last Halloween, I got a postcard invitation to a fundraiser for a charity. I didn't go, but I kept the postcard and tacked it to my wall. Why? Because it said,"Blood: The Party. You're so vein, you probably think this party's about you." I still chuckle every time I read it.

3. The Gravestone - Brynna got a tiny rubber gravestone in a gumball machine a few years ago. She was icked out, I was amused. It's graced my desktop ever since.

4. Play Doh - For when the kids visit me.

5.Newspaper Clipping - Also on my bulletin board is a clipped obituary of the inventor of the Western shirt. I have no idea why.

Okay, so what have you got? What makes your space yours and shows just how much you are screwed up and how much like everyone else you are - or aren't?

A Magical Moment

A book, a blanket and a smile... What else could
you possibly need? Well, I guess a
unicorn pillow pet doesn't hurt.

I may have mentioned once or twice around these parts that I am a reader. I'm not sure if I have mentioned that The Husband is a reader, too. He reads a little less, but a lot faster than I do and we tend to read many of the same things switching books back and forth.

Last year and earlier in this school year, Brynna was struggling with reading. Not to the point that I was worried, but it was something we had to work at and work we did. I was mostly concerned that all this work would make it seem somehow not fun to her. Reading is magical. The act of immersing yourself in story and floating around inside made-up people and places, exploring characters and setting, tackling new ideas from the safety of your own mind - there is, in my ever-so-humble opinion, nothing on Earth finer. I didn't want her to lose the magic, but I was very concerned that she be a strong reader.

Then midway through her first semester of first grade, it's like a switch flipped. She shot up the reading scale, leaps and bounds at a time and tackled words that she wouldn't have even tried before. She gained very important reading skills, but more so, she gained an irreplaceable confidence. She learned that she could do it. With help or without, she would get through.

It's been fun to watch her read my magazines and pick up books here and there and the more skill she's gained, the more I've backed off her. She's skipping along merrily without me and I wanted to give her room to find the fun again.

So last week, I had to have some work done on the car and we ended up with some time to kill and made our usual time-to-kill-trek to the library. We actually hadn't been for a while. The combination of terrible fines, lost books, and weird weather had kept us milling around our own collection. Our family rule is that you are allowed to check out one book for each year of age, so Brynna gets six and Maren gets two. They may check out whatever they like, and on the occasion that I want to get something to read to one of them; it counts in my pile.

Brynna wandered around picking and choosing, and I was honestly paying more attention to Maren (who doesn't understand re-shelving) and myself. Once we checked out, I realized that a few were the accursed Rainbow Fairy books. If you are not familiar with these insipid tales about pretty fairies with mundane problems, count yourself lucky. I immediately tried to get out of reading them.

"No, mommy, I'm going to read them," Brynna reassured me. I had my doubts. But the ride to pick up my car was punctuated only with "Maren, quit it. I'm reading." And once we got home, she plunked down on the sofa, made herself comfy and nearly finished the book. For the rest of the evening, I moved through the house, doing my usual week night chores and gazed in amazement at my own reader.

It was one of the proudest nights of my life. I can't begin to explain the magic of watching her read, independently, from a chapter book. There is truly nothing finer than seeing one of your loves reflected in your children. She hasn't picked up the next one yet, but I have faith. I am raising a reader and I couldn't be happier.

What's in My Crochet Bag - Scarf Loop Edition

Remember last year when Suze won that contest? And it was Spring and I promised her a scarf before it got cold? And one of us made some joke about better hurry because it gets cold earlier in WI? Yeah, neither do I. That's my story and all...

In any case, after the flurry of Christmas madness, I was really interested in doing something quick and painless. A one or two day project and since I knew I owed Suze (and also Joni, I'm sorry, I still haven't done yours) scarves, I figured I'd get crackin'.

Could I look any more uncomfortable? I have got to get
someone to help me with pictures.

I had purchased yarn for both Suze and Joni before Christmas, but when it came down to it, I discovered I didn't like either one of them. So, I went on a search and came up with something new. I came up with Pattons Classic Wool in Jade Heather. Let me tell you what I love about this yarn: it's a 100% wool, but so soft and cuddly, but the color... I don't think any picture could do this justice. It's such a lovely shade with just enough variegation to it that it has dimension.

The pattern is this Lacey Crochet Scarf and I really love it. I will definitely make this one again (and again and again!) What I love about the pattern is that it has a delicate lace look and is still dense enough to be warm. The only thing I didn't like? The length. I like a long scarf, and I assume everyone else does too. When it turned out a little shorter than I would have liked and I was all out of yarn, I fretted and fiddled and came up with idea to do a loop. I've wanted one for myself for a while and this truly seemed like the perfect fit. I simply stitched the ends together and viola! I love it. It's not brain surgery, but I had fun doing it and was very happy with the finished product.

It seems that Suze is too. She wrote me the sweetest note telling me how much she loves it and that it does match her coat. I always worry about that, because there is nothing worse than having a scarf you love and nothing to wear it with. Trust me, I know of which I speak.

Five Things on Friday - Success Edition

Ridiculously stolen from eBaum's World.

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you felt like a total and complete failure? I'm on my second consecutive. It just seems that I can't do anything right. Including actually write my blog. I feel that I can't do anything right and the more I feel like that, the more I mess up. It's a vicious cycle of self pity and misery and frankly, I'm done with it. Starting now, I'm going to celebrate the successes, no matter how pitiful they may seem.

Five Things In Which I Have Succeeded This Week

1. Did not kill anyone - I have been beyond frustrated most of this week. With people at work, my husband, my kids, Blumina (the lady who's sometimes in front of me who drives at 45 mph no matter what and drives a Blue Lumina), with random people in stores, it doesn't really matter. Although I like to think of myself as "pacifist lite" I'm not above a little husband murder. Is there a name for that? Spousicide? In any case, I've succeeded all week long in keeping those around me alive. Barely.

2. Mystery Solved - Every day I walk through the house turning off lights and opening doors before we leave. Every night I come home to find half of the lights on and all of the doors shut. I was beginning to think that I am a. losing my mind or b. being haunted by a ghost who wants me to go broke on propane and electricity. Turns out that the only thing I am haunted by is a two year old who likes to use her new skills. If I could just make her quit it now.

3. Library Fines Paid - Yesterday I paid my late fees, Brynna's late fees and for the book that Brynna lost. Total came to over $15, but at least it's done and we can check out more books. That we can lose and forget about. But whatever, for now, we have stuff to read and everyone is relatively happy.

4. Kept getting out of bed - That's right, I'm counting the fact that I made it out of bed, into relatively clean clothes and out the door for four consecutive days ('cause of the holiday) as a win. Don't like it? I don't care.

5. Did not let the van explode - Anyone hear about this Ford recall? Yeah, I have one of those. That has now, officially been "fixed" by gluing on an "axle reinforcement kit." I'm not sure I feel that much safer, but now if I die a horribly firey death, someone can be sued.

What pitiful successes can you share with the class?

The Conspiracy

I am not, by nature, a crazy sort of conspiracy theorist. I am more a "Hmm... I wonder..." sort of conspiracy theorists. I publish no zines, I don't own exactly thirteen copies of Catcher in the Rye and I have never blamed alien races for political issues. I may not be the sanest woman in America, but I prefer to think that I am not the craziest either.

So yesterday, Brynna got sick at school and we ended up home early. You know that vast and horrible landscape of nothingness that is daytime TV? Well, we had that going on and I had to work from home, so it's not like I could be a good mommy and play board games and stroke her hair.

I flipped around aimlessly while she lamented that everything on was a "baby show," and finally landed on The Science Channel. There was a show called The Planets that seemed like basic educational, space stuff. I asked Brynna if she wanted to give it a try and she said sure. She watched the end of one, but never figured out what planet they were talking about.


After it was over, they started on Mars. I was in the kitchen working on a snack when she started shouting in to me about water on Mars. When the show was wrapping up, they were asking some of the unanswered questions about life on Mars. I was paying absolutely no attention by this time.

Brynna finally asked me about aliens.

"Well," I responded. "They've never found life out there. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but it does mean that it's probably not close to us."

"They might have," she replied.

"I think they would have told us," I muttered, burying myself in a great pile of foundation research.

"Nope. They wouldn't. Because then everyone would be scared and panic. They don't like people to panic, so they tell us whatever they think will keep us from panicking."

Suddenly, I stopped what I was doing and stared at my sweet, beautiful and obviously talented six year old. I am pretty sure that I have said nothing that would inspire this belief in her, but it is something that I have long held close. Not necessarily about aliens, but about other things: impending natural disasters, medical epidemics, car recalls. They tell us, I believe, when they see a possible positive outcome to our knowledge. For instance, if a hurricane is headed for the coast, it makes sense to tell people because they will travel inland. If a meteor is headed to Earth to destroy us all, well, they're going to keep that one under their hats. I don't believe that this attitude is necessarily seated in evil. I believe that they would believe they were making this decision for the right reason. And really, who's to say they aren't?

I don't have much faith in they. Again, I don't think they are out to get us, but I do think that they don't really know as much as they tell themselves they do. I don't think they know better than we do. And I totally believe in they.

When Brynna started talking and learning and really becoming an amazing person, I worried, just for a moment that she may be a genius. I don't want to raise a genius. I think I've mentioned that. A really, really smart kid? Absolutely. A high achiever? You bet. A real, live, certifiable genius? Uh-uh. Too much stress and worry and pressure. Well, it turns out that's not so much a concern. Instead, I'm parenting one of the Lone Gunmen. Only, I kinda think they were geniuses too.

Five Things on Friday - Terrible Music Edition

I just ran out to get lunch, wracking my brain about my Five Things, when lo and behold - "Total Eclipse of the Heart," came on the radio. I cranked that sucker up and sang like I was trying to blow out my lungs. I adore that song. And so, was born today's Five Things.

Before we begin, though, I'm going to have to define "terrible." Terrible music to me has lyrics that are either so trite they could have been written by monkeys or make no sense whatsoever. Terrible music also has nothing really to offer in the music department. It doesn't have to sound like Brynna playing Rock Band, it just has to be sort of ho-hum. Oh, and overproduced helps. Nothing makes a song more terrible than overproduction.

Now, if you read one of these songs below and think "Well, that's not terrible at all," you should realize that first of all, I'm admitting to loving it, so you can't get that mad about it. And also, it's all subjective. Feel free to defend something though. I might just be amused. So, with no further ado, I present:

Five Terrible Songs that I LOVE!

1. Total Eclipse of the Heart - Honestly, all you have to do is look at Bonnie Tyler's hair and know that this is a terrible song. When the male voice starts chiming in with the "Turn around" bits, you know you are in for it. But when she said, "Every now and then I fall apaaaart," I dare you to not bust out with it, too. And the "I'm livin' in a powder keg and puttin' off sparks." Okay, terrible, but also wonderful. Ah, Bonnie Tyler, forever always starts tonight, but I love you anyway.

2. All Star - For a while, I thought I loved to hate this song. I mean, what's with all the stuff about global warming? And it was everywhere, wasn't it? But then it kinda faded and now when I do hear it, I can (and do) sing along with every single word and get a little dancey. I look forward to it. In short, I wanted to be all superior, but I kinda love it.

3. Pack Up - This past weekend, I watched Eliza Doolittle on Graham Norton and fell in love. After some Googling, I realized that I was really only in love with that one song. And it was awful. Really, truly awful. And yet, I can't quit singing it. I have probably listened to it 20 times this week. It's infectious. In fact, it should be quarantined. Also - and I know this has nothing to do with the quality of music - but also, what is she wearing? That is the most terrible dress (?) in the history of the world. Yes, it beat out the swan dress. And as if that weren't bad enough, the pairing with the shoes. And that thing she does with her shoulders. But whatever. Infectious.

4. Kodachrome - If anyone is going to argue, I expect it to be about Paul Simon. I mean, Paul Simon. He's brilliant, right? But honestly, it made more sense when I thought he was begging his mother not to throw out his clothes.

5. Punk Boy - I hesitate to include "Punk Boy," by Ash because I think it's brilliant. (Oh, and yes, I know it's a cover, no I do not like the original. Sorry.) However, in college I dated that guy. You know, because almost all of us dated that guy. Unless you are a straight male or a gay female and then you probably hated that guy. Or hung out with that guy because of all the girls around him. Anyway, singer-songwriter, horrible person. I excused most of his atrocious behavior because he was tortured. Or something. (You have to grow up to understand that you are not tortured by virtue of being an artist.) He hated this song. I sang this song morning, noon and night and it made him crazy. Finally, in one of his moods, he demanded that I name ONE redeeming quality this song had. After a few minutes of pondering, I responded, "It makes me happy." I'm pretty sure that doesn't count in musical terms, but it counts in Jessi terms. A few days ago, I cranked this so loud in my house that the walls shook and Maren, Brynna and I danced until we fell over. It still makes me happy.

And please, please, share your favorite bad songs. We can commiserate. And I can feel better about my apparent dearth of musical tastes.

Conversations with a One Year Old - Too Smart Edition

And she looks so sane...

On the way home from Wednesday night church.
Maren: Where are you going, Momee?"
Me: Home, sweetie.
Maren: Noooo, nooo, Don go home!
Me: Well, where do you want to go?
Maren: We go Mi Casita after church!*

*We go to Mi Casita (a local authentic Mexican palace of wonder and enchantment) every Sunday after morning service. We have never gone after night church, however, as that would clearly be crazy-pants late.
____________________________

Me: Who's girl are you?
Maren: Uuuuummmmm, NiNi's girl.
Me: NiNi's girl? Who's my girl if you're NiNi's girl?
Maren: Uuuummmmm, Daddy.
Me: Daddy can't be my girl, because he's not a girl.
Maren: Getting serious. We can fix that.
__________________________

At the Doctor's
Maren: I want a boo-boo. Pointing to a band-aid.
Nurse: You want a boo-boo? I don't think you want a boo-boo.
Maren: I want a boo-boo right now. On my finger. Holds out finger.
Nurse: Well, I guess... I mean... That's where I have to take her blood....
Maren: Yep. Taken my blood.*

*I have no explanation for this exchange, except that she really wanted that band-aid and she was going to do anything necessary to get it.

What's in My Crochet Bag - Deep Breath Edition

Totally stolen from Crochet Spot. Thanks!

As I mentioned last week in this space, it was a close thing getting all my Christmas crafting done. In fact, I didn't really get it all done. I owe one person some placemats that she doesn't even know about and I had to totally change another gift mid-stream because it just wasn't going to get done on time. In the end, though, things mostly got done. And then I totally and completely forgot to take pictures of them.

Which is okay, because other than the sweater (of which I did remember to take pictures) it was all pretty unremarkable.

I made some dishrags. And while I personally feel that there is nothing finer on the planet than a crocheted dish rag, I know that pictures of them are just not all that interesting. I did make some pot scrubbers using a plastic post scrubber (steel wool style, but plastic) and crocheting a ring around the outside. I did one to look like a flower and one that was just sort of curly stuff. Sort of double duty - pot scrubber by day, dishrag by night. I can't claim the idea (I got it from Ravelry) but I freehanded it and didn't use a pattern. I thought they turned out quite cute and hopefully tres functional.

But now I am left in a wondering spot. I have another project that needs to get done and I really am planning on making those placemats, but what else to do...

I have a half finished sweater for me that I may try to wrap up and a sweater for someone else that I thought I would do for Christmas, but then decided that two sweaters for Christmas was just too much and I could do it for her and give it as a surprise gift. I'd like to have it done by Spring. (It's a Spring sweater and I'd like her to get some use out of it.)

All in all, I kinda feel unbalanced though. Without the immense pressure of the Christmas queue I feel like I could do anything. A feeling that is both giddy and daunting.