Five Things on Friday - Summer Movie Edition

You know how summer movie has come be mean big, action-adventure, blowing-sh..stuff-up movies? Yeah. I don't get it. I mean, I get it. I get that there are more movie goers in the summer so if your movie cost more to make than the GDP of a moderately-sized nation, you want to put it out in the summer. I get that. What I don't get is why people want to watch stuff blow up in the summer.

Don't get me wrong - I am all for blowin' stuff up. Last night, The Hubby was watching Ancient Aliens, which is my least favorite show on the planet. I mean, I'd rather watch just about anything than pseudo-intellectuals wax rhapsodic about the possibility that aliens watch over our planet like an ant farm. In any case, I watch for five minutes and then I get mad. Last night, after hearing them talk about how the moon was a hollow space station (they actually compared it to the Death Star) I huffed, "I'm watching Burn Notice in the bedroom. I'd rather watch shit blow up."

I just don't understand the correlation. Why is summer better for watching stuff blow up?

With that as my premise, I present:

Five Movies that are More Fun to Watch in the Summer

1. One Crazy Summer - This is perhaps, my favorite 80's movie. Let me list its assets: John Cusak - at the height of his precious, Demi Moore - before she was creepy, the world's ugliest dog and evil Fluffy Bunnies. I can't explain my devotion to this movie. It's not as funny or quotable as Better Off Dead. And yet... And yet I've seen it a million times and fully plan to make a "Dew Drop Inn" sign for my house and see who gets it. Plus, summer is right there in the name. If you haven't seen this, well, if you haven't seen this you probably have never had cable. And therefore, are probably way too high-brow to enjoy watching a lonely hippo stab a bunch of pink bunnies to death, or giggle with glee at a very bad animatronic shark.

2. 30 Days of Night - Okay, against all conventional summer wisdom, I'm going to have to go with a movie that takes place practically at the North Pole during the winter. But, c'mon, who doesn't want to feel cold when it's 107? I'm all about it. Bring on the ridiculous snow and the ice covered everything, the total and complete darkness, and oh yeah, the scariest movie vampires ever. Please, try and make me cold. In addition to the chilliness of this flick, it's just a damn fine movie.

3. National Lampoon's Vacation - Obvs. I genuinely think that this is the best of the Vacation movies. I know some people would argue for Christmas, but they are, unequivocally wrong. This, for me, is truly evocative of the adventure of loading up the car with everyone in your blood line and striking out, while muttering, "We're gonna have fun if it kills us." Plus, the dead aunt is hysterical. Oh, and the amusement park hold-up. Oh, and did you know that the pot-smoking, daisy dukes wearing cousin is Jane Krakowski. She was always my secret favorite part of the movie.

4. Jaws - Ah, the open water. The sea and the beach. Sand castles, the lapping sea and a man-eating shark on a mission. Despite the fact that this movie is fairly ridiculous, it's also amazing and has truly made many a man afraid to go back in the water. That iconic duh-dun, duh-dun... is enough to instill this movie forever in the annals of cinema. Just think of this as your good reason I didn't go to the beach this year movie. You'll be glad you did.

5. Steel Magnolias - I know this movie spans years and hits pretty much every season, but it gets bonus summer points for being set in the Deep South, ya'll where it's always hotter than your Aunt Henny's Biscuits. Also, it starts in the summer. Every time I hear Cajun music, I swear I think of "two hogs fightin' under a blanket." Steel Magnolias is actually good any ole time of year, as it is one of the world's finest movies, but as a summer movie, it covers all the bases. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll do both at the same time (which is Truvy's favorite) and you'll want to name your next baby Shelby.

Nearly

The following is a piece of writing. It's mostly true. True enough that calling it fiction would be disingenuous. I guess you could call it an essay of sorts. Only shorter. 


Yesterday, in traffic, I was cut off by a stereotype. A silver haired woman in a gold Cadillac decided that my lane looked preferable and she was going there no matter who was already traveling in it. I hit the brakes and the horn at the same time and as my heart accelerated and then slowed, I began thinking about near-misses.

My driving record is hardly spotless, but it's not terrible either. In fact, if you are not a deer or a light pole, you probably have little to fear from my mama minivan. All the same, when I think about the dangers of cars, what I concentrate on with the highest intensity is the almost-wrecks. The times that through skill, or more likely dumb luck, I've managed to avoid a life-altering, if not life-ending catastrophe.

These, I think are my favorite stories. I start them, "Did I ever tell you about the time I nearly killed a cop?" Or "You know, I once almost went under a semi." What I love about these stories is that there is plenty of drama, fear, horror, and suspense. But in the end, you know and I know it's going to turn out fine. I know because I was there. You know because I'm not telling you the story from beyond the grave or prison.

These are the good near misses. The things that could have terribly, but instead went okay. The time I caught the kitchen on fire and nearly burned down the house. The time I accidentally overdrew my bank account by nearly $1,000 and almost lost everything. The time I almost lost Brynna in Kohl's. The time I almost forgot to get Maren from the babysitter. At the end of each of those days there was the delicious mixed emotion of truly knowing what you have to lose and how close you are every day to losing it.

There are bad near misses. The things that should have gone beautifully, but ended badly. The time I nearly I had a son. The time I nearly caught the door before it shut on Maren's hand. The time I almost got a really great job. The time I almost knew when to leave. These are not stories I like to tell. And the end of these days were filled with a deep-seeded regret.

But what the good and bad near misses share, and why they are vital to our lives, is that they are a peek into a different life. I'm sure you've all heard and read the theory that there are a million universes parallel to our own  just like ours, but for one small change. Perhaps that's what we see. Every time we experience a near miss, we glimpse the world as it would have been, for better or worse, and then we are left to survive or thrive with what is.

If you believe, as I do, that everything happens for a reason and that every action helps to build the person you need to be for something down the line, then I suppose these near misses are checkpoints on the journey. "Ah," the voice in the sky seems to say, "Before we see what's behind your door, let's take a peek at what you are passing up." Sometimes the choice was yours, sometimes it wasn't. Sometimes it was wise, sometimes it wasn't.

What is inevitable is that this time won't be your last. You will stand on that stage again, casting your mind's eye into a future that cannot possibly exist. Because there will always be sharp right turns and the whiz of a bullet parting your hair.

Heat + Jessi = Crankypants

Who's comin' with me?

Have I mentioned the heat wave? It has "broken" which means that I no longer risk life and limb just by driving home, but it doesn't mean that it feels any less hot to me. I know that I've probably brought this up before, but I am a hot natured person. I get hot easily. I roast right along with the chestnuts if there is anywhere present an open fire. I don't light candles in the summer because they add what I call "ambient heat." I don't go outside unless I can see the shade before I get there and I only wear my coat for about 60 days a year.

Have I painted you a picture yet?

And it's not just that I don't like being hot. I mean I don't like lots and lots of things: needles, sewing, Charlie Sheen, horseback riding or the color orange. But being hot elicits a decidedly physiological reaction from me. When I sweat, my head itches. Itches like lice have infested my brain. I don't know why. All of my clothes feel as if they are made of sandpaper and my goal in life is to not have anything touch me. And when I say anything, I mean my kids.

As much as I love the rugrats and enjoy cuddling to the nth degree, will someone please keep them busy and off of me until the temps hit the 80's again? At least. I feel terribly guilty every single stinking day when I pick up Maren at the baby sitter's and she says, "Pick me UP!" and I say, "Hold my HAND!" I act like I'm teasing her, but I'm seriously hoping that she'll just grab my hand and go.

And Brynna is in this stage where her favorite thing to do is crawl over me like an inconveniently placed pillow. And if I so much as hint that I am not enjoying the added body heat, elbow in my sternum and head between me and the TV, she whines pitifully while looking at me with huge cupie doll eyes that she just "wants to be with me."

Also, I have the energy of a slug. That may not be fair. I'm not sure what kind of energy levels slugs have, but I feel like laying around all blob-like, much as a slug, so I'm going with it. And my temper - she ain't what she used to be and she was never all that great. Seriously, all I want to do is lay around and whine.

My office is ridiculously hot, because my neighbors control the thermostat and they all come in early and turn it off because it's "chilly" and then leave before noon and lock the frickin' door behind them, so by mid-afternoon, my office is a sauna and I am dying in it.

And even when I get home and wallow for a while in the heaven-sent air conditioning (seriously, how does one doubt the existence of God when one is sitting in a 60 degree house when it's 107 outside) I still don't feel all that much better. Okay, I'm not hot anymore, but I am all kinds of previously hot. You know what I mean, that dried sweat, sticky-icky, my energy's already been zapped, can't we just eat Popsicles and popcorn for dinner feeling.

Alrighty. I'm done. That's all the energy I have for weather-related bitching. In fact, that's all the energy I have. I need a nap. Under the fan. Right after I get out of a cold shower. Join me in my heat-whine.

Making It! - Trinket Box Edition

Lovely with a little necklace, this would also be nice
with a handful of chocolates!

Way back on around Mother's Day, I wanted to make a few little gifts for the occasion. I got one finished. (Does anyone notice a pattern?)

I made this little trinket box for my Mother in Law and stuffed it with a little necklace. You can click here for the pattern I used. I used some of the wonderful hand-dyed sock yarn that Suze gifted me and it worked wonderfully. The wool content gave it a little extra rigidity, especially in the sides, but it didn't lose any of the softness. 

It has an overstuffed look
from the side.

The only thing that I had a difficult time with was making the lid fit. Really, the lid won't fit the box when the box isn't full. I found that out the hard way. After about two hours of panicking, I stuffed the box full of tissue paper and the lid slid right on. I also chose to make one larger, two-layered flower rather than the cluster of flowers suggested in the pattern. The reason for this was mostly laziness, but also yarn selection. I didn't want to buy a whole skein of sock weight yarn for three tiny flowers, when I could easily do something like this.

Key shown for scale.

All in all, I was quite pleased with the project. I think it's a lovely way to add something special to a small gift and is very nice as a gift on it's own. I love trinket boxes. If I ever get really and truly bored, I may make a handful of these to keep on hand just for such occasions. I do think I'm going to experiment, though, and try to come up with a square version, the round was a bit tricky and I think the lid issue may be alleviated by nice stiff corners.

What do you think?

Conversations with a Six Year Old

In the car, on the way to camp:

Brynna: Can I hear the fire song?
Me: No.
Brynna: Why?
Me: Because I've switched the CD 20 times in 10 minutes. The stereo is tired and so am I. Also, there's a freakin' heat wave and the CD's are hot when they come out of the stereo and it's making me hotter. So no. No fire song. Maybe on the way home.
Brynna: I don't like this song.
Me: I don't like the puppy dog song, but I suffer through. It's your turn to suffer.
Brynna: But grown-ups are used to suffering and kids aren't.
Me: The consider it a life lesson. Everyone suffers. Doing it well and gracefully is a useful skill.
Brynna: I only suffer when it's hot.
Me: Well, with the summer we've had you should be used to it, then.
Brynna: I'm not going to talk about suffering anymore. I want the fire song.
_______________________________

At home while I'm making supper:
Me: Brynna, can you feed and water the cats?
Brynna: No.
Me: Let me rephrase: feed and water the cats.
Brynna: I'm busy.
Me: Doing what?
Brynna: Answering your questions, mostly.
Me: Oh, well, I'm busy too.
Brynna: Doing what?
Me: Taking the cats to the freakin' pound.
Brynna: I'm coming.
______________________________

After coming home in an un-air-conditioned car in 1300 degree weather.
Brynna: Mommy, why are you sad?
Me: I'm not sad.
Brynna: You look sad. You look horrible.
Me: I'm hot. And tired. And hot. Also, you shouldn't tell people they look horrible. It almost always hurts their feelings.
Brynna: So, I should lie.
Me: No, you just shouldn't mention it. If you can't say something nice, just don't say anything.
Brynna: Mommy, you look.
Me: Not exactly what I had in mind.

Things I've Learned Today

• Headaches don't go away by force of will
• Oatmeal is not a satisfying lunch
• Homemade granola is totally worth it - especially if you added chocolate chips
• I should add more chocolate chips next time
• Pinterest is super cool
• Pinterest also needs bigger servers (I suppose they didn't see me coming)
• It would probably be a very bad idea to paint my kitchen red
• It doesn't matter, because I am totally turned off by the idea of a blue kitchen
• Yellow does not, in fact, go with everything
• I truly do hate stuffing envelopes more than anything else in the world
• It's possible that the gray walls at work are contributing to my depression
• This should be monitored by OSHA
• I don't actually know what OSHA stands for
• Some days a completely random list just has to be good enough

It's What Time?

Well, friends and neighbors, now that it's approximately 119 degrees in the shade and no one in my house is waking naturally at 5:45 a.m. and we are finally settled into our new routine and staying up at night and sleeping until 9:00, lovely decadent, luxurious 9 (on the weekends, mind you). It must be almost time for school to start.

On the bright side, Brynna got into her school again (we have to reapply every year) and they notified us this year before the week before school starts and that's nice. She's gotten a post card from her teacher and she is geared up and ready to head back into the fray - books and P.E. and backpacks and this year we have to label all  the school supplies which I assume means she gets to keep her own stuff. She couldn't be happier.

I, on the other hand, am already whining about it. For one, I am looking at this list of school supplies with sadness. Since school supplies are my second favorite thing (my first favorite is lemon cheesecake), I think it's rather unfair that my day is being ruined by the school dictating the brand of supplies needed. (Although I will agree that Fiskars are superior scissors and Crayola are superior crayons.)

Secondly, 5:45 a.m. I am headachey and tired just thinking about it.

Thirdly, that means that I should start, like last week, with getting my kids back on the school sleeping schedule. Fighting them at bedtime, missing my meetings, eating as soon as we get home, and waking before human beings should be conscious: here we come!

Also, have I mentioned 5:45?

I was just saying how I don't understand how year-round school is such a bad thing. No camp and trying to figure out what your kids are going to do all day, all summer while you work. No getting out of routine. No running back to school the moment the New Year's confetti has cleared. And now, I'm sitting here whining about how can summer possibly be over? I need at least another month's worth of sleep.

It makes me wonder, though. Where did the time go. When I was in school (back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and hills worked differently so you had to walk uphill both ways) we didn't start until the end of August, we got longer at Christmas and we got out in May. We also had at least one day off every month. So, what happened? Do we have more instructional days? Or is fall break entirely to blame?

I don't know. What I do know is that in three short weeks, the countdown to fall break begins. (Also, what do you think they do with all those gallon sized ziploc bags?) Ugh. 5:45.

Making It! - My White Notebooks

As you may have gathered, I spend a great deal of time online. While here, I gather things: mostly ideas. But also recipes, crochet patterns, craft instructions, etc. Because I split my time between my home computer and my work computer, I print a lot of stuff, too.

Of course, I hate to waste paper, so when I lose these things (I have probably printed my recipe for taco seasoning about 40 times) I get pretty upset. Rather than just allowing these pile up (which I did for years and years) losing most of them and never being able to find anything, I have created some notebooks.

I know this isn't rocket science, but honestly, it took me a long time to get it together and if I can spare anyone else my pain, I would love to share.

So, with no further ado:

Organizing Your Papers in Five Easy Steps

1. Figure out what you need and gather materials - I have a church notebook (as I am the secretary), a Montessori notebook (for my Board materials), a speech pathology notebook (for Brynna's speech evaluations, etc.), a crochet notebook and a recipe notebook. Today, I am adding a craft notebook. Previously, I've just stuck my craft ideas in the back of my crochet book, but that back pocket is getting bulgy. Plan what notebooks you need and then decide how fat they need to be. Then begin gathering materials. Each notebook will need: 1 notebook (duh), a handful of plastic page protectors and tab dividers. I use pre-printed 1-25 dividers. More on this later.

2. Label your notebooks - My notebooks all live together in a bookkeeper's basket on a bookshelf. Because all you can see is the spine, it's super-important that the spine is labeled. I also like to add a cover, but this is non-essential. There are a lot of ways to label your notebooks. Because mine are grouped together in one spot, I want my spines to look uniform. I print a spine and insert it into a clear overlay style binder. If you were feeling fancier than I, you could use scrapbooking letters or make little hanging labels. I considered the latter, because I think it would look cute, but I haul my binders to board meetings, evaluations, business meetings and just around in my crochet bag, so practical is at a premium for me. I have a little more fun with the covers, because you don't see them as much, I can make them look any way I want. Again, I just design something in Word and print it out for the cover area. You'd be amazed what cool images you can find in clipart.

3. Assemble - The insertion of the cover pieces is fairly obvious. I usually place my page protectors in the very back, because I don't use them much. For the most part, I hole punch everything, but occasionally, I'll have something printed too close to the edge, or on a partial sheet that could use the help. I like to have pages handy for this.

4. Build an Organizational Structure - Keep in mind that above all else, the notebook needs to work. It needs to organize your stray papers into a system that makes sense to you and make it so you can find things. This means that you have to think about how you work. For instance, with crochet patterns (or any kind of pattern), do you typically decide on a project based on who it's for? If so, then your sections should be something like: Baby Girls, Baby Boys, Girls, Boys, Women, and Men. or Do you choose a project based on what it is? If so, then your sections should be Hats, Scarves, Sweaters, Afghans, Dishcloths and Doilies. Honestly, the best advice I can give you about organization is this: forget about what other people do or what would be easiest for someone else. If your organization doesn't make sense to anyone else, but you can find what you need, then it works. As I mentioned before, I use pre-printed tab dividers (1-25). Then I make a Table of Contents with blanks for each section. This way, it's easy to add or change sections. This might not work for you. Whatever's clever.

5. Fill 'er Up - Start adding projects as you print them. One thing that I do is gather all my projects together in one document all week. Then, on Friday, I print out everything, hole punch it and add them to the appropriate notebooks. Then, when I'm working on a project in one of my books, I move a page protector there and I can add a scrap of the yarn, the wrapper with dye lot and the hook I'm using to the page protector. This keeps everything close. I make notes as I'm going along on the hole punched pages.

I know that this isn't the most exciting Making It! project, but good project organization is a pretty important piece of the crafting puzzle. It took me way too long to find this method of organization that truly works for me. I hope that it - or something similar works for you too.

How do you keep your projects organized? Notebooks, project bags or boxes? What else?

Five Things on Friday - Saga Edition

Tonight is the night, oh interwebz of joy. Tonight, despite the fact that I am having a very rough day, have no idea how I'm going to pay my bills or drive to work this month, I am going to see Harry Potter. Because, priorities... I gots 'em.

Now, before you lecture me, you should know that I am RABID about Harry Potter. Like seriously, crazily, rabid. And this is a very sad day for all of us. I mean, it's a great day - because, you know, new Harry Potter movie, but also a sad day because it's the last new Harry Potter movie.

I know people who don't get it. People who say things like, "Isn't this like the fourth or fifth movie," or like, "Well, it's about time, there's half a million of those movies." And it makes me sad. Sad, not just about people who don't understand the joy and amazement of Harry Potter - of a complete cultural phenomenon that changed children's literature and the way children view literature forever. But also for the saga.

So, for those with attention spans longer than ants, I present:

Five Sagas That I Love

All grown up...

1. Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling, books and movies) - Okay, obvs. And I could say all the things I usually say about Harry Potter: a grand story of good vs. evil, the complexity of human nature, the bond of true friendship, not to mention the whole inspired an entire generation to pick up books bigger than their heads and devour them in a way previously reserved for teenage-heart-throb-movies. But, since I've said all that before, let me instead address why I, a fully grown adult type person, thinks J.K. Rowling hung the moon. I am all about the characters: you can write the most boring plot imaginable, but if you have good, strong characters, I'm all in. And HP has great characters. I remember being Hermione - almost exactly. Now, I'm more of a Molly Weasley. (And with that in mind, can anyone guess what I am most looking forward to tonight?) These characters are wholly formed, three dimensional people. You forget that they are not real. And that right there is what separates bad fantasy from good fantasy. In good fantasy, the magic and mystery and dragons and whatnot are a vehicle for the characters. Not the other way around.

Magically delicious.

2. Dresden Files (Jim Butcher, books, comics and a very short lived TV series) - As the only practicing wizard in the Chicago phone book, Harry Dresden sees his share of weird stuff. From werewolves (the good, the bad and the positively sociopathic) to fairy godmothers; from supernatural drugs to enchanted dinosaurs; from mafia bosses to magic beer. Life is never boring for Harry. What keeps Harry's stories interesting book after book has a great deal to do with Harry, but even more to do with everyone else. Harry begins the series as a fairly young wizard (they live into the multiple hundreds, you know) and his growth as a wizard and as a person is fun to watch. Every book brings progress or regression and you love to see him improve and suffer when he slips. You watch with trepidation as he makes bad choices and cheer (usually in your head) when he makes better ones next time. That's the essence of what makes a saga tick - true investment in the lead character. But that's not all Dresden has to offer. There's also Karin (cute as a pixie cop and reluctant love interest), Michael (Knight of the Cross and reluctant father of a budding wizard), Thomas (Harry's half brother and influential vampire of the White Court), and Susan (half vampire and star-crossed lover). And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Everyone grows, everyone changes. There is not a single stagnant character in the series (with the possible exception of the deliciously bad mafia boss, Johnny Marcone) and that makes it never boring for the reader.

Not everyone can get away with
walking barefoot through a cemetery.

3. Harper Connelly (Charlaine Harris, books) - So far, there are only four books, but I know this one is going to last forever. How? Because Harris' other series include Sookie Stackhouse (10 and counting), Aurora Teagarden (8 books), and Lily Bard (5 books). Charlaine is a champion of the saga. Now, you're probably more familiar with Sookie and that's fine and good, but I will argue to anyone and everyone that Harper is a better character, a better premise and better written books. So there. Harper can commune with the dead, but not how you think. Since being struck with lightning as a young girl, Harper has gained the ability to locate bodies based on a buzzing type feeling. But more than that, she can, for a moment, connect with the dead and experience their last moments the same way that they did. This seldom solves murders by telling her whodunit, but does serve as an aid to investigations. As she travels the country, finding bodies and helping murder and missing person investigations, she is also struggling for her missing sister. It's like a TV series, there's always a mystery of the book, but the larger mystery is far more compelling.

How I wanted her hair!

4. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery, books, movies, TV series, probably other stuff) - The first chapter books I read were the entire Little House on the Prairie series. Which set me up for a lifetime of little girls from history who were troublemakers. Fortunately, this is practically a genre. But my favorite is Anne. Anne is an orphan who goes to live with an elderly sister/brother duo as farm help. Of course, she is so much more than that, with her lively imagination and sweet innocence. As the series progresses, Anne and her best friend, Diana, along with her forever love, Gilbert, grow up. Anne marries, has children and forges a life for herself completely different from her early childhood. Anne is Polyanna, but less annoying, Laura Ingalls, but more precocious, Pippi Longstocking, but with redder hair. I spent a good deal of my childhood playing Anne of Green Gables with my red-headed best friend. We even nearly drowned pretending to nearly drown playing the Lady of Chalotte. I never managed to get drunk on raspberry cordial though.

Just like our world. Only better.

5. Discworld (Terry Pratchett, books, comics, movies) - Discworld is a flat world that moves through the universe balanced on the backs of four elephants supported by a giant turtle. It is a place not wholly unlike our own, but vastly funnier and more interesting. There are so many Discworld novels and they cover everything from politics to religion to journalism to music to Death. Yes, with a capital D. They are smart and funny and satirical, but they are also genuinely fine reads with compelling recurring characters. There are "mini series" within the larger series - the Night Watch books, the Witch Books, the Death Books (my personal favorites) but they all add up to a larger world so completely imagined it's contagious.

So, what about you? Do you love a good saga? A never-ending series? Does a whole shelf of Castle Rock or Aunt Dimity make your knees weak? What are your favorites?

I'm Sorry... What Day is It?

Oh my. It's time for another whining post. Get ready because this one is a doozie (doosey, doosie, doozy, seriously - I know it's a freakin' word).

So, you remember my car? The evil one that loves to not run? Yeah, it's running. After $2,000 for a new tranny (and not even the fun kind with too much makeup and Cher impersonations) and $120 for new brakes, it is currently putting rubber to road. We can't get too excited, because I'm sure it'll break any day now. But since it's running, my husband's car (the mini mobile) has decided it's not budging out of my front yard.

This has meant ride sharing. With my husband. The love of my life. Or something. Here's the thing - we don't do this well. There are some things that we kick butt at doing together. We can taco night like nobody's business. We are super-duper arguers. We have this one (just one) swing dance move that we can do in our sleep. We can watch Firefly all day without getting out of bed. But we cannot share a car.

For one thing, we're not morning people and we have to get up and be civil and get the kids ready together and get our stuff ready together and when we are done we can't scream and slam the door and stalk out to the car - because the other person will be there. Which sucks.

Also, I now have three - count them three - people trying to control my radio while I drive  - AND ONE OF THEM CAN REACH IT! I know. Has there ever been a bigger travesty?!? Someone should report this to the Geneva Convention. I'm sure they are very worried about my "driver picks the tunes, unless I am the passenger" rule.

Furthermore, Hubby works a funky schedule, so he has to go to work hours early and I have to hang around town hours late to get him. This is me sighing a big, ole, crazy sigh while I roll my eyes.

Also, my kid is a terrorist. Earlier this week, she was suspended from day camp for terroristic threatening - because she said she was going to kill anyone who liked pickles. And, okay, I had the talk with her and explained that we don't threaten to kill people and we really just don't joke about killing people and look, I swear this is a big deal. And I managed to do it without laughing. Because as much as I want my kid to be a hippy-dippy-tie-dyed-flower-child, I just cannot take a pickle-related death threat seriously. I just can't.

And I started The Hunger Games. God help me, I gave in and am reading a best seller and I cannot put it down.

So, I know that it's Thursday and this is the first time I've even cracked my blog open this week. I've also discovered online logic puzzles which is highly addictive and crazy.

Forgive me. I promise a Five Things tomorrow and then next week, back to blogging as usual. In the meantime, think of me, my terrorist child and my husband-for-now-but-we'll-see-how-long-this-lasts when you are having a peaceful morning routine. Think of us fondly.

No Longer a Morning Person

Maren is going through this phase. At least, I hope it's a phase. She cries at everything. Not a real cry, mind you, a screamy-pay-attention-to-me cry. It's maddening. In every sense of the word. Plus, it's worse in the morning.

I counted today and she cried over 14 different things between the bed and the babysitter's door, including, but not limited to: me not rolling down her car window, her arm getting wet and not having Kai Lan on her panties.

Just a few short weeks ago, I could count on Maren to pop out of bed like a jack-in-the-box and run happily through the house demanding that everyone share her joy at being alive. Spoiler alert - no one else is overjoyed at being alive in my house until at least 9. I don't typically get there until about 11.

Brynna started out as a morning person and then outgrew it, too. Honestly, I think it's better this way. Being a morning person in my house is setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment.

Last night, at church, we were talking about a conference we want to attend. After some discussion, it came about that we would have to leave the church at 6 a.m. "Let's leave earlier and head to Denny's," the pastor enthused. "Let's not and cruise McDonald's," was my answer. And even then, I'll be grumpy. And we won't even address the husband issue, as he is not even civil before lunch most days.

They are doomed. Doomed.

You know, though, I don't mind it. From my perspective, the whining and crying is less annoying that the chipper, happy skippiness. And I'm holding out hope that she'll outgrow the wailing part of it and turn into a regular old grump. Like Brynna. Who informed me this morning in no uncertain terms that it didn't matter how many times I laid out that outfit -she was NOT going to wear it because it did NOT match -at all. Harumph.

It was about at this time that Maren burst into tears because the cat was in her room.

Please tell me this is just a phase...

Making It! - Hair Clippie Holder Edition

I've been busy lately. Busy creating and planning other things to create. I haven't shared many of them because they weren't crochet and "What's in my Crochet Bag" should at least occasionally be crochet. I've been pretty excited about some of them, though and so I've decided to introduce a new feature - "Making It!" Each Monday (or today, whatever, don't judge me) I'll tell you about a new project that I've made. It might be cooking or crafting or sewing or crocheting or writing. It'll be whatever I've been working on and want to share that I, myself, have made.

Today, as our inaugural Making It! post, I'm sharing my fabulous hair clip holders!

A couple of months ago, I was browsing at Between Friends, a local consignment/fun stuff shop, and I found these cute hairbow holders that looked like ballerinas. I loved them, but they didn't really fit my girls' rooms. We're very themey around these parts and we weren't about to just plunk a ballerina in a fairy room. Lots of putting it off and material gathering later and I finally got it all together.

Here are my basic steps (of which there are no photos, sorry.)

Trust me, it's a fairy. The wings are just blending
into the bush. It's lovely in the Nature Fairy room, though.

1. Find carboard - I just used an old box top, but if you wanted people to be able to look at the back, might I suggest foam core. In any case, you need something with stiffness, so at the very least corrugated.

2. Doodle - A Sharpie and 20 minutes later, I had the basic outline. What I wanted was something more realistic looking, but the thing is that without a head, realistic looking is blobby. I had to make it exaggerated just to have it look like anything. After finally getting a form I was happy with, I cut it out. I used scissors on the first one, but it was a nightmare and used an exacto on the second one and it went much better, so I'd recommend that.

2. Cover with fabric - I purchased fat quarters, because they are fun. I cut them in half, knowing that I wouldn't need the whole thing. Then, a little glue gun, a little stretching and trimming to make the curves smoother and I had a "bodice."

3. Make a skirt - Since the ballerina ones I had seen all used tulle for the skirt, I decided that was the easiest option for the fairy. I had a small spool of tulle that I use for gift wrapping. I cut uniform length (ish) pieces and tied 3 together in the middle. Then, folding in half, I glued the knot to the area I wanted the top of the skirt. This made the skirt fall nicely from about five points in the center and meant that I didn't have to worry about making the top look straight. The cowgirl's skirt was cut from a dress Maren had outgrown. The ribbon trim and belt loops were there to begin with, although I can't imagine it without them.

4. Add ribbons - The "lacing" ribbons across the middle were fairly easy, but for the skirt ribbons, I would recommend grosgrain ribbon only. I used satin on the cowgirl and the clippies keep slipping off. It's kind of a nightmare. Basically, I just hot glued them to the back.

5. Add decoration - The fairy obviously needed wings. I purchased these at a craft store for a buck, but you could easily make some with a coat hanger and colored hose if you were more patient than I. I've tried it and it just doesn't work for me. The fairy wings were actually a butterfly and Brynna wanted to put her body on the front of the skirt, so I added it to the skirt. It seems morbid to me, but Brynna thinks it's pretty. I'm still looking for a nice big horse button or pin or something to add to the cowgirl. She needs something.

6. Add clippies - There are many, many more than in the photos, but unless you're really clippy happy, you can't run out of room, there's a never ending supply of places to stick things.

Cowgirl clippy holder. 

Good Things about this Project - Easy and Quick - I did both in one afternoon and they turned out so nice. Kid Friendly - I kept mine away from the glue gun, but they directed what they wanted where and which ribbon, etc. Personalizable - So easy to make it fit a room or a personality or both. Really does a good job - The girls love having them on their wall and they are wonderful corals for what's normally in giant piles at our house.

Bad Things about this Project - Hanging is a Pain - I went through three or four different hanging methods before I came up with something that would work for us. Ponytail holders - We still don't have a good spot for ponytail holders. The best I could come up with was using a butterfly clip to hold them on, but that's not going to work for long. Addictive - I'm kinda disappointed I only have the two girls. This was a ton of fun!