You know how summer movie has come be mean big, action-adventure, blowing-sh..stuff-up movies? Yeah. I don't get it. I mean, I get it. I get that there are more movie goers in the summer so if your movie cost more to make than the GDP of a moderately-sized nation, you want to put it out in the summer. I get that. What I don't get is why people want to watch stuff blow up in the summer.
Don't get me wrong - I am all for blowin' stuff up. Last night, The Hubby was watching Ancient Aliens, which is my least favorite show on the planet. I mean, I'd rather watch just about anything than pseudo-intellectuals wax rhapsodic about the possibility that aliens watch over our planet like an ant farm. In any case, I watch for five minutes and then I get mad. Last night, after hearing them talk about how the moon was a hollow space station (they actually compared it to the Death Star) I huffed, "I'm watching Burn Notice in the bedroom. I'd rather watch shit blow up."
I just don't understand the correlation. Why is summer better for watching stuff blow up?
With that as my premise, I present:
Five Movies that are More Fun to Watch in the Summer
One Crazy Summer - This is perhaps, my favorite 80's movie. Let me list its assets: John Cusak - at the height of his precious, Demi Moore - before she was creepy, the world's ugliest dog and evil Fluffy Bunnies. I can't explain my devotion to this movie. It's not as funny or quotable as Better Off Dead. And yet... And yet I've seen it a million times and fully plan to make a "Dew Drop Inn" sign for my house and see who gets it. Plus, summer is right there in the name. If you haven't seen this, well, if you haven't seen this you probably have never had cable. And therefore, are probably way too high-brow to enjoy watching a lonely hippo stab a bunch of pink bunnies to death, or giggle with glee at a very bad animatronic shark.
2. 30 Days of Night - Okay, against all conventional summer wisdom, I'm going to have to go with a movie that takes place practically at the North Pole during the winter. But, c'mon, who doesn't want to feel cold when it's 107? I'm all about it. Bring on the ridiculous snow and the ice covered everything, the total and complete darkness, and oh yeah, the scariest movie vampires ever. Please, try and make me cold. In addition to the chilliness of this flick, it's just a damn fine movie.
3. National Lampoon's Vacation - Obvs. I genuinely think that this is the best of the Vacation movies. I know some people would argue for Christmas, but they are, unequivocally wrong. This, for me, is truly evocative of the adventure of loading up the car with everyone in your blood line and striking out, while muttering, "We're gonna have fun if it kills us." Plus, the dead aunt is hysterical. Oh, and the amusement park hold-up. Oh, and did you know that the pot-smoking, daisy dukes wearing cousin is Jane Krakowski. She was always my secret favorite part of the movie.
4. Jaws - Ah, the open water. The sea and the beach. Sand castles, the lapping sea and a man-eating shark on a mission. Despite the fact that this movie is fairly ridiculous, it's also amazing and has truly made many a man afraid to go back in the water. That iconic duh-dun, duh-dun... is enough to instill this movie forever in the annals of cinema. Just think of this as your good reason I didn't go to the beach this year movie. You'll be glad you did.
5. Steel Magnolias - I know this movie spans years and hits pretty much every season, but it gets bonus summer points for being set in the Deep South, ya'll where it's always hotter than your Aunt Henny's Biscuits. Also, it starts in the summer. Every time I hear Cajun music, I swear I think of "two hogs fightin' under a blanket." Steel Magnolias is actually good any ole time of year, as it is one of the world's finest movies, but as a summer movie, it covers all the bases. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll do both at the same time (which is Truvy's favorite) and you'll want to name your next baby Shelby.