Monday, June 1, 2015

All the New Things

So, I've made it through my first month in my new job and I haven't had a nervous breakdown yet. This past week was the year's biggest event for the organization, so I feel like I've sort of survived something significant. Doing such a huge event just a month into my tenure there was a baptism by fire, but I lived through it.

Yesterday, I told my dad that even my worst day at my new job is less stressful than an average day at my old job and that's true. For one thing, there isn nothing in this new job that is insurmountable and that's a huge change. For another, I feel like I have more trust and respect in a few weeks than I had after seven years at my previous engagement.

In other news, Maren graduated Montessori. I cried, although not as much as I thought I would. I am terribly sad that she's growing up so fast, sad that she's leaving such a wonderful school and sad that my last baby has moved on. But, this time around, I'm a little more ready.

I don't know why, but Maren seems so much more ready than Brynna was at this point. Maybe it's because I watched Brynna walk into elementary school and fly. Maybe it's because Maren seems to just bounce through whatever you put in front of her. Maybe it's because she's already excited to start next year. For whatever reason, though, I am mo
re excited to watch her conquer her next adventure than sad to see her complete her last.

Finally, Brynna is about to graduate fifth grade. That's right, I am two days away from being the mother of a middle schooler. I'm sure I'm going to cry at this graduation. I'll report back. she's so smart and so strong and so ready for the next thing. But she lacks her sister's ridiculous self-confidence. She's not sure she's ready, but I am. And I am excited to see what hell she brings to middle school.

She's also playing softball. You guys know, Brynna has had a spotty relationship with sports, but I think this time, we've maybe found her love. She's not good yet, but she's grown so much through this season that I can't wait to  see what happens next. I love to watch her play, to watch her concentrate and think and move. She's becoming someone different in a million small ways and I am so thankful to be a part of it.

Every time she plays, though, I think about how much I wish my grandpa could watch her play. He loved sports and he loved to watch his family play. I said something to Brynna about it one day, aout how much he would have loved to watch her play and she very quickly replied, "He is. He always watches me." And, I suppose he does.


Suze said...

One of our favorite babysitters (now 13 years old) plays softball and has some kind of scary focus when she's on the pitching mound. Her mom told me that's the only time all the stress of middle school life and friend drama falls away, is when she's playing softball.
I guess I can get behind a sport if it does that for a person :)

Jessi said...

Suze - I never really thought all that much about softball, beyond a sort of wondering if the concept of girls play softball and boys play baseball was sexist or sort of empowering. But seriously, watching her is kind of amazing. And Maren wants to play in the fall. If you love something so much that it becomes contagious, that's true love.