Sometimes, the only way I know that I am a good person is because there are things I think - but don't say. Otherwise, I could be Satan in disguise. Or a Kardashian. Whichever.
In either case, I thought I would share
Five Things that I Thought But Didn't Say This Week
1. O Rly - I have tried, like really made an effort, tried to look nice every day this week. I have put on nice clothes and jewelry and brushed my hair before I got to work. I have tried to color coordinate and accessorize and even wear some tinted chapstick. I have done this because I have this theory about looking good and feeling good and making good choices all sort of being related and I'm trying that out. The point is - I've been trying. Except today, I woke up feeling like dirt and threw on some jeans who have questionable cred in the cleanliness department and an old sweatshirt that I typically save for Saturdays when I'm not going anywhere. My boss walked in this morning and said, "Oh! Don't you look nice in your teal." I wanted to say, "You're clearly either delusional or a liar." But I didn't.
2. I Like My Space - We all went out for a birthday lunch yesterday and while some of the girls were parking the car, two of us walked into the restaurant. After being vaguely waved at to find our own seat, we chose a nice table by the window with six seats. The waitress ambled over with a water pitcher and asked us if we were expecting any more. I wanted to say, "No, I'm claustrophobic and must sit at a table with at least four empty seats. Or I start screaming obscenities." But I didn't.
3. Oh, Me Too - After we left, while we were walking back to the cars, one of my coworkers said, "Well, that was filling. I don't guess I'll have to eat dinner." I wanted to say, "It must be nice to be so skinny AND not have to feed children no matter what AND be able to casually lord it over everyone else." But I didn't.
4. Pants You - The Ex and I had a miscommunication about whether I was picking up the kids or he was dropping them off. Normal stuff. I apologized (because I'm nice) and said, "I should have communicated my plans better." His response: "Yeah, wouldda been nice." I can't tell you the things I wanted to say, but they involved a lot of pants. But I didn't.
5. Liar - We waited for an hour and a half before I asked at the desk when, exactly, the neurologist would see us. "Oh, any second now, your appointment wasn't until two..." I wanted to say, "You lost us. You lost my kid on her first visit to the big scary doctor and now you're lying about the time of my appointment, as if I didn't confirm it with you yesterday. You, sir, and your whole office of insanity suck pants." But I didn't.
Because I'm a lady, dammit.
Share something you didn't say. It's therapeutic.