Five Things on Friday - Horror Movie Edition

Well, it's Halloween weekend and that can only mean one thing (or actually many, but pretend with me) - horror movies!!

I thought I would give a rundown of five of my all-time favorites, one from each of my own made-up horror movie categories. I hope you find something to enjoy!

Five Horror Movies I Love

Even the house is creepy.

1. The Scary 'Cause It Could Happen - Psycho - Norman Bates kills people in his hotel at the behest of his dead, stuffed mother. What makes this so possible? It kinda happened. Ed Gein was a murderer in the 1950's and while not quite as sensational as Norman, he did have mommy issues, keep pieces and parts of his victims and tried to build a "woman suit" out of parts of corpses. (He is actually the inspiration for Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs). Psycho is well-made and creepy, but also, sort of feasible. It's that possibility that gets under your skin. More Could Happens: See above Ed Gein films, The Strangers, American Psycho, Rear Window and it's decent re-telling Disturbia.

What I would give for a picture
of her demon breasts

2. The Ridiculous - Mausoleum - This is quite possibly the worst horror movie ever made. A woman (played by a playboy bunny - there's your first clue) is possessed by a demon and starts killing men while having sex with them. Also, her breasts become demons and grow teeth. I will watch it any time there's a possibility. So bad it's good is how I usually describe it. If you want to celebrate with a horror movie, but hate to be scared, this is the movie for you. Also on this list of ridiculousness - Grandmother's House, The Evil Dead, Hellraiser, or Leprechaun. Most slasher flicks fit into this category.

Looks all happy until
you see the rope.

3. The Creepy -The Omen - So, technically a series, you should really just avoid all of them except the first one. And maybe the remake, I haven't gotten around to that one. In my opinion, the best horror movies are those that get quietly under your skin and creep you out without the jumps and screams and blood flying everywhere. Although, there's a fair amount of blood in this one - and a decapitation! Anyway, an ambassador takes a baby whose mother died in childbirth after his child is stillborn. He fails to tell the mother and then finds out years later that the child is the devil. Or the devil's spawn. Or the Antichrist. Complete with a 666 birthmark and a penchant for suicidal nannies, Damon is creepy to the extreme. Others in this category: Children of the Corn, Rosemary's Baby, Event Horizon and Let the Right One In.

Clows always creep me out.

4. The Series - Halloween - For my money, there is no horror series like Halloween and no psycho killer from hell like Michael Myers. Michael is just a little boy when he brutally murders his older sister. He is put away for fifteen years and breaks out to finish the job - presumably by killing any slutty teenager in the county. What makes this series worth the marathon (skip number three, just trust me) is that unlike most psycho killers, Michael Myers is genuinely scary. Plus the music. Plus Jamie Lee Curtis. Plus Donald Pleasance as the creepy "hero" Dr. Loomis. Other series of note: Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and Child's Play (please note, this could also be filed under Number 2).

Seriously, check out the greenscreening. Can anything
that looks this terrible not be entertaining?

5. The Creature Feature - I hate to admit it, but my all-time favorite creature feature is Lake Placid 2. This is not rocket surgery, people. A plot synopsis would be sort of an insult to your intelligence. There's giant mutant alligators. That's the upshot. Other Creature Features of note: Jaws, Aliens, Rein of Fire, Predator, almost anything made for SyFy.

I Feel as If...

If you hear me utter the words, "I feel as if," chances are good that one of two things is happening. I'm trying to be funny in a too hard, stop trying kind of way. Or I'm trying not to lose my temper or burst into tears.

So you can imagine the hilarity and also slight shame I felt when Brynna said on Sunday night, "I feel as if you are making up excuses to not go to night church."

So, here it is Wednesday, I have a throbbing flourescent lightbulb induced headache, I don't want to cook dinner and damn it, I'm going to church. Because I was called out by a seven year old, that's why.

Wish me luck. Or pray if you are so inclined. I'll be trying to sit in the darkest part of the church.

Five Things on Friday - Date Edition

As I may have mentioned in my last post, I now no longer have anyone with whom to go to the movies. Other than being a big ole first world problem, it is also not at all important because I never have the money to go to the movies anymore.

And yet... ever since a friend of mine mentioned a certain Hunger Games movie, I have to admit to panicking a little. Not because of that movie, I'll go see that if I have to sit in a lonely theatre by myself (which, disclosure - I won't.) No, because it dredges up a whole area of this forging ahead thing that I hadn't considered: I no longer have a "date."

Now, hear me out. I don't mean a date-date. I just mean, who goes to the movies with me? I no longer have a built-in person to do those things. So here are my list of

Five Things For Which I Will Be Accepting Applications on Accompaniment

1. Movies - I know, I've kinda covered this, and movies are probably the easiest things to attend on your own. For starters, there's no need for conversation, and for seconders, you're sitting in the dark. I used to do it all the time when I wrote movie reviews. But, my favorite part of the movie is honestly the end where I pick it apart. Most people hate that about me. I'm okay with people hating that about me because I love doing it so much. But still, it take someone special to attend a movie with me. Also, I am not exactly surrounded by folks who love sci-fi, horror and art films. Of course, I was never surrounded by anyone who loved art films, but still. As Meatloaf says, "two outta three ain't bad."

2. Concerts - There's actually a concert coming up that I really wanna go see, but I am NOT going alone. Save me from myself.

3. New Year's Eve - Every other year, I shall sit at home by myself and weep for my patheticness. Or fall asleep at 11:52 and miss the stinkin' ball.

4. Vacations - Let's put aside the fact that I haven't been on a vacation since my honeymoon. I have plans. Plans to go to Alaska and London (again) and go to the beach in Michigan and the Pacific Northwest and Maine to stalk Stephen King (shhhh, Stephen, you know I would never do that). On the other hand, all the places I've always wanted to go where he didn't want to go: Prince Edward Island, Arizona, New Zealand - are now up for grabs.

5. Haunted Houses - It's not so much that I don't know anyone else who would go with me. It's that I don't know anyone else who would go and walk in front and tell me if it's going to get claustrophobic in that special way that I have and then leave to go sit in the medic's tent with me if I hyperventilate. Wait... Why do I even want to do this?

Where are you glad to have someone to go with?

So How Are You?

It occurs to me, after years and years of asking people how they are that this is perhaps the worst question in the universe. Not just your average, How ya doin? in the grocery store. I'm talking about the very Southern, "So, how ya holding up?" you ask while wincing slightly.

I always thought I was being sweet. Caring. Letting people know that I was there for them in their time of need. What I understand now is that I was presenting them with a question that has no correct answer.

When people ask me that question right now, I don't have to wonder why they want to know. They want to know how I'm handling the separation. And it's good to know that people care. Trust me, I need people who care. I need a support system, I won't lie.

But how am I supposed to answer that question?

The answer, the good and true answer is that I am fine. I have a lot of day to day stuff. I'm keeping busy. I have my moments, but I'm okay.

Except I can't say that. If I say I'm okay, it either looks like I'm lying or like I'm a heartless ice queen who doesn't care that her husband moved out. I don't want to look like that. Even if it's true. I'm not sure if it is or not, but I'll figure it out eventually.

If I say anything else, I feel like I'm lying and that I'm going to get more sympathy than I can handle.

The truth is that it's complicated. Sometimes I'm fine. (Most of the time.) Sometimes I'm better than fine. (Like when I realize that I'll never again have to fish dirty socks out of the couch.) Sometimes I'm pretty rough. (Like when I had to watch The Walking Dead all by myself.) Sometimes I'm a little scared. (Like when I hear a noise in the middle of the night and I can't remember where the baseball bat is or why we ever thought that was a weapon.) Sometimes it seems like I've got this thing covered and sometimes it seems like everything is falling apart.

The truth is that it's the little things that matter the most now. Knowing I won't go to see a movie because I don't have anyone to go with anymore. Or spreading out and taking over all the dresser drawers. Little ups and little downs.

How do you possibly fit all that into a response to "How are you doing?"

The One in Which I Posit a New Theory

My new theory is thus: Any problem will be either greatly improved or greatly worsened by ignoring it. The art is knowing what to ignore and what to act upon.

I think that no where is this truer than with children. Some things truly need to be addressed right away and some things, well, if you leave them alone, they'll go away.

For instance: a few weeks ago Maren was having trouble sleeping. She would wake at two or three in the morning and cry and scream and I'd go get her and put her in bed with me. A nagging voice told me every night that I needed to nip this in the bud. I must teach her to stay in her own bed again or she'd be in mine until she was 30. But, every night (or morning) at two or three, I'd also tell myself that I'd worry about it tomorrow. I was too tired tonight. Sure enough, after a couple of weeks, what was ailing her began to heal and she started sleeping soundly without me all over again.

I left it alone and it fixed itself.

On the other hand, my nearly three year old is still sleeping at night with a paci and I really need to take it away and I'm afraid that she might actually take the paci until she is 30. Luckily, it's only at night, so the only people who ever have to know are her college roomate (and what a great story that will be) and her future husband. Leaving it alone is not getting me much of anywhere with the paci, and I do believe that every day I let it go, it's going to be one day harder to get her to give it up.

Maybe tomorrow.

This weekend, Uncle D looked at me funny while I was sitting on Mom's couch.

"What?"

"Can't you hear Maren crying?"

"Yeah, but it's not serious." I went to explain how you can tell if it's a mad cry, a sad cry, a hurt cry, a scared cry or just a I'm-a-gunna-cry cry. This was a mad cry. She would get over it. Quite possibly better without me. Leave it alone. A hurt cry requires immediate attention. She cried that one later and I scampered on out the door. It wasn't serious, but if it had been, then leaving it alone would have proved disastrous.

This is what kids teach you. Or at least, this is what kids teach me: some things need to be handled right now. Some things you should ignore for just a couple more days.

I'm a worrier by nature and it's hard for me to not worry. Hard to let anything go for any time at all, but I find that when I don't know what to do, doing nothing might be the right answer. Or it might not. In a very zen way, you'll never know until it's better or it's worse. Which sort of adds to the worry, but you know...

Five Things on Friday - Fall TeeVee Edition

You may already know that I am an unrepentant telivision junkie. And as the reality shows finally wane, I'm very excited to be finding things to watch almost every season. Fall is usually a little less exciting for me than summer (in the world of TV only) because I love me some "genre" shows and they seem to be traditionally housed in summer. (You know, 'cause us geeks can go outside or we'll burn our delicate and pasty skin.)

In any case, I am happy to announce that I have some new interests and a few might even become addictions. Welcome to...


Five New Fall Shows that You Should Watch

Witchy teens, ftw!

1. Secret Circle - From the minds that brought you The Vampire Diaries... This story of teenage witches trying to figure out what happened to their witchy parents and discovering their newfound powers is sort of delicious in a typically CW way. The set up is awfully reminicent of the The Craft, one of my all-time favorite horrible movies. Cassie Blake moves to her grandmother's home and discovers herself part of a coven who needed her to complete their circle. There's the mean girl and the super-smart girl and the cute boy and the dangerous boy. It's very stereotypical, but very watchable as well. The cast is mostly unknown (at least to me) but the cute boy is played by Thomas Dekker, who used to be John Connor. Witchy good fun, but not can't miss TV.

2. American Horror Story - From the minds that brought you Glee and Nip/Tuck... Seriously. These things are related. In any case, a very screwed up family (grieving mom, cheating dad, depressed teen daughter) move across country to start over in L.A. Even I think that's a bad idea. But moving into a house that has been home to decades of murder and weirdness... Well, let's just say that I don't think the Real Estate Agent quite finished her disclosure statement. Connie Britton is in it and I do love her. And the guy from The Practice who is the only reason I ever watched The Practice. I haven't made up my mind about this one yet. The pilot was scattered and a little non-sensical. Add in that they threw every horror movie cliche in and stirred (creepy kid, parts of butchered babies, bleeding animals, S&M, etc, etc, etc) and you may have a recipe for disaster. Or genius. I'll just have to wait and see.

Pretty, crazy boy.

3. Bedlam - Not to be a big BBCAmerica snob, but this is my favorite of the new season so far. I will be sticking to my TV just as close as I do for Doctor Who or Being Human. Jed, a young (and pretty) man who has been in and out of mental institutions because of his ability to see the dead and how they died comes to stay with his cousin, Kate. Kate, a determined non-believer, is in some sort of supernatural danger and Jed must save her. The setting for this lovely, though simple storyline is Bedlam Heights, an old asylum where not-so-nice things happened and has now been converted to apartments. Because everyone wants to live in an old sanatorium.This tops my favorite list for the fall.

4. New Girl - This comedy about a girl who breaks up with her longtime boyfriend and moves in with a bunch of guys is only so-so. But I love Zoe Deschanel. I just can't help it.We'll see how long that lasts. I wouldn't mind just spending that time watching Tin Man over and over again.

5. Once Upon a Time/Grimm - With two new shows so closely related, I'll probably pick one. Otherwise, I'll just end up confused. Since neither previews until later in the month, though, I am waiting with bated breath to see which one wins my heart.

Which new shows have captured your interest this Fall?

Making It! Spa Edition

Gratuitous shot of the
birthday girl.

This past weekend, in celebration of my daughter's seventh birthday, we hosted a sleepover. Despite my incredible hesitation and fear of this event, we actually had a lovely time - and the girls were in bed before eleven. I have a feeling that no one told them what a sleepover was and for that, I am forever grateful. 

In any case, Brynna wanted a spa party for her birthday and since we are doing everything on the cheap right now, we had to make spa a completely low-cost theme. Which, I didn't think would be nearly as easy as it was.

Enter Pinterest. Not only did I get lots of great ideas from Pinterest, but when I was stuck, I just searched and come up with all kinds of ideas. Here's the rundown on the items that I made:

Treat bowls of ice cream. 

1. Favors - Thanks to Dollar Tree, the favor bowls contained a bath pouf, a washcloth, a pair of fingernail clippers, an emory board and a nail file, a set of toe separators, a small mirror and a chapstick. And the total cost per treat bowl: $3.66. I think that's pretty impressive. Pinterest had the idea of using a sundae glass and making the treats look like ice cream. Genius! But, since I couldn't find sundae glasses for what I deemed to be a decent price, I went with little plastic bowls. They turned out pretty cute, if not quite as cute as the original.

The spa girls with their avacado masks. 

2. Avacodo Facials - I did them in the food processor like the original author suggested, but they were still a little clumpy. It was fine. The girls loved them. Add in the cucumber slices on their eyes and they were in seventh heaven.

3. Pedi's - I started off with a dishpan of warm water and scented Epsom salts and after a brief soak, did a sugar scrub, followed by painting of the nails. The girls were pretty confounded by the whole process, but loved it. And there are leftover Epsom salts for baths for me!! Oh, and leftover sugar scrub that I am currently using every time I wash my hands. 

Really glittery body glitter.

4. Body Glitter - Actually, this wasn't my project, but the girls'. I put the aloe in the container and let them add and stir the glitter. The end result is wicked glittery, but hopefully, they will enjoy it. 

5. Make your own pizzas - I actually got this idea from a commercial at the last minute. I used a package of large, flaky biscuits in the tube and rolled them out a little flatter and a little wider and then gave the girls bowls of canned spaghetti sauce, mini pepperonis, sausage, mushrooms, tomatoes, and cheese. The girls constructed their own pizzas, I baked them and Voila, supper! It was actually really good and the girls enjoyed the pizza a lot. Furthermore, all three of these girls typically refuse to eat anything but cheese pizza and while I think I was the only one to end up with mushrooms, they all stepped out of their comfort zones a little. Baking will do that for you.

See, Brynna is the brand name and
the color is Happy Bday Pink.
I swear that's what it says.

6. And speaking of baking - the cake - I almost always bake the girls' cakes because I just can't stomach paying that much for something that tastes like a solid lump of sugar. Even cake out of a box is better than cake out of grocery store bakery in my opinion. Of course, I suck at it. Although I work really hard at cake decorating, they are usually unmitigated disasters. This one, of course, was no exception, but Brynna thought it was cute. (It's a bottle of nail polish if you can't tell.)

All in all, this was a lot of fun, and I was amazed at how little I spent to have so much theme related activity. I think the final amount was about $80 for everything, including food. 

So, what do you think? Ready to throw your own spa party?