Thursday, December 15, 2011
It's the End of the World as We Know It
See, about ten to twelve years ago, I used to start Christmas shopping in January. That's right, January. I would make my list and pick a couple of people for each month and buy ahead. That way, I wasn't stressed in December! And I had plenty of extra cash to spend on decorating! And Christmas traditions! And fancy cooking!
Then, I had kids. Almost immediately, that ended.
But still, I finished up on Black Friday. For the past six Christmases, with the exception of those people you never remember (Oh, hi. Yeah, I forgot that I knew people at work. Really, we do gifts. Um... I'm Jewish? Oh, I talk about church a lot. Well, um. The presents, they are in my car. I'll just go out and get them. I'll be back in about an hour.) I was always done by noon on Black Friday.
This year, I started on Black Friday and today, today is my last paycheck between now and Christmas and I have approximately 19,000 gifts left to buy. I should make a list. But I'm afraid I'd throw up.
In the meantime, I have decided not to do Christmas cards, because, well, bwahahaha.
I just spent a little over an hour trying to spend a gift card online. I finally finished but not before calling in a favor from the woman who works down the hall from my mother. Because that's how desperate I've gotten.
I used to sit back in late November, wrapping my presents and feeling superior and swear that the world would end before I was one of those schmoe's in Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve. I may miss that fate this year, but at the rate I'm going, it's going to be soon. I'd be makin' my peace if I were you.