Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Conversations with a Five Year Old

I know I've been doing a lot of these lately, but you gotta cut me some slack. She's been a gold mine lately...

The Husband: Next time you decide to yell at me while I'm yelling at you like that, I'm gonna spank you right there in front of God and everyone.*
Brynna: Well, not everyone. I mean, people in Asia won't be able to see it. Or Africa, or Europe, or... What's the little continent over by Asia, mommy?
Me: Australia?
Brynna: Yep. They won't be able to see either.

*I can't even begin to explain the logic behind this. I don't understand it. If you don't want her to yell, don't yell. But you know, united front. Yadda yadda.
Ed. Note: At this point, it's impossible to punish her. Really.


Me: Are you still mad at Daddy?
Brynna: Yep.
Me: Me too.
Brynna: Why?
Me: Well, you know how sometimes I tell you that you aren't making the best choices with your behavior.
Brynna: Yeah?
Me: Well, right now I don't think Daddy's making the best choices with his behavior.
Brynna: Hm.
Me: But, I've been thinking about this, and it seems to me that we only really have two choices here.
Brynna: What are our choices?
Me: Well, we can stay mad about it and have a miserable Easter, or we can forgive Daddy and have a nice day.
Brynna: I think I'd rather be miserable than forgive Daddy, thank you.

Ed. Note: The conversation went on and we eventually agreed to just pretend the whole thing had never happened. This was either a stroke of horrible parenting where I let that united front slip and then didn't talk her into forgiving her father or a stroke of brilliant parenting where I taught her the valuable lesson that you can't always agree and sometimes you just move on with your life anyway. I'm gonna go with brilliant.


Brynna: Are you going to drop me off this morning?
Me: Yes.
Brynna: Why?
Me: Because you have to go to school and get ready for the Parent Luncheon. The luncheon isn't until lunch time. I'll come then.
Brynna: You promise.
Me: I'll be there with bells on.
Brynna: Who's Bellzon?
Me: Um. It's an expression. It means I'll be really happy to be there. I'll actually be there with Daddy.
Brynna: So, Daddy is Bellzon, here.
Me: Yes.


Joni said...

Ahhhhhhhhh! The Bellzon one is awesome!!!!!! And I think teaching her that you can't always agree with someone but you just move on with your life anyway is a VERY valuable lesson. Well done.

Cindy S. said...

Love it :)

Jessi said...

Joni - I may have nearly run off the road when she said that. It cracked me up.

Cindy - Thanks!

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

Oh, I love these! She's so funny, and your asides crack me up!

jodifur said...

What is with 5? I posted a conversation i had with my today. They are a riot at 5.

Jessi said...

Jenn - The asides are basically my latent paranoia.

Jodifur - They are! I read yours and thought, man, I could have totally had that conversation with Brynna.