Okay, I'm going to admit something. And you should probably mark this down. I am sick of the snow.
I know, I know. I am Madame Obnoxious Lover de Winter. I am The Queen of Making You Miserable by Going on and on About the Virtues of Winter. I am the Snow Princess. I am an insufferable supporter of cold weather.
And I am freaking done.
We have had more snow this year than in the past ten years combined.* We have been pelted by enough ice to confuse a polar bear.* We have had subarctic temperatures.*
I am going to take a moment and say that I think the problem here is that where I live, this is not the norm. We are not prepared for this. I don't have good coats or boots or wool socks or pants that don't drag in the snow. I don't have tire chains or snow tires or insulation for my engine block. We don't have enough salt, plows or winter driving skill.
I still think I would last a little longer further north, is what I'm saying. But I think my dreams of moving to Alaska have been crushed. Where can I move that's basically fall year round?
One of the things that I am tired of is dealing with my kids. My kids, they are wonderful. I adore them. They are my favorite and my best. Here's the problem: snow days. If they spend too much time together, they transform from their darling selves into evil monsters of doom. So, not only do they spend all day together at my mom's, but then we go home and I say, no, you may not play outside where it is NEGATIVE FOUR.
And then I say, IF YOU ARE COLD, PUT ON A SWEATER. PROPANE ISN'T CHEAP.
And then I say, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE ARE HAVING FOR DINNER. IT IS 2:15.
And then I say, IF YOU ARE BORED, YOU CAN CLEAN YOUR ROOM. BECAUSE I'M NOT DOING IT AGAIN.
And then I say, WHY ARE ALL THE FORKS IN THE LIVING ROOM?
And then I say, I DON'T CARE IF IT'S ONLY 8:00. GO TO BED.
There is a lot of yelling, is what I'm getting at.
And that just makes them squirrellier. And it makes me more annoyed, because I was not going to lose my temper today, I promised myself.
I need Spring. And it hurts me to say that. But, my gosh. Either I need a million more pairs of gloves, a really good pair of snow boots and a coat that fits and keeps me warm. Or I need Spring. Like ten minutes ago.
And guess what? Tonight, we are getting ice. Lots and lots of ice. Because, of course we are.
*Made up statement, not necessarily true.