I've had a bad week. I had a board meeting for my work at Tiny Nonprofit of Doom. Three days of stress, lack of sleep and worry that something, somewhere will go wrong and it will magically be my fault. (The board, by the way, is by and large, great. It's me that takes this on and obsesses about it. Part of my inherent neuroses. At least I recognize it, yo.) And one of the largest events that takes place all year at the semi-touristy spot my office resides in. I hate crowds. And traffic. So I hide for a few days and la-la-la myself into tranquility.
In the meantime, this week, I have been a Mrs. Yellypants with my kids, I have ignored my whiny DRV and forgotten to feed my cats for two days. When I am under this kind of stress, I tend to not be a person you wanna hang with.
And whenever I get like this, I try to focus on something that can make me happy RIGHT NOW. Because that is the only way I'm going to live through this. Like Courtney Love. But with less mascara.
Five Little Things that Keep Me from Being an Axe* Murderer
1. Reading things that don't take a great deal of brainpower - I just finished Angel's Ink and cannot recommend it with enough gusto. This is probably my favorite book I've read this year. It made me furiously happy instead of furious. Brain surgery, it's not, but a wonderful magic world filled with compelling characters, it totally is. Now, I'm reading The Book of Drugs, which is weird, but oddly fulfilling. I find myself falling into the cadence in my speech after reading for a while. Also, I loved Soul Coughing and if possible, love Mike Doughty more. So, there's that. I was there (ish). I listened to that drugged out music and never knew how it was eating itself.
2. 90's Music - This week, for some reason, I've allowed myself to fall back into listening to all the things that I used to love, Nirvana, Poe, Liz Phair. Listen, children who have come after me. Listen while I tell you tales of how music used to be. How it was angry and loud, how it was amazing and quiet. How you could lay on the floor and let it wash over you like waves. Let me tell you how we had angry women and they were appreciated for speaking out and speaking up. They weren't marginalized for having the nerve to be angry and female at the same time. We had songs about school shootings and bombings and the terrible things that happen in the world, because that is how art is made. By staring into the abyss and letting it stare back. Listen.
3. Candy Crush - I know. I've joined them. Help me, help me before I turn into a complete pod person. Drag me out by my toes if necessary. This is my official cry for help.
4. Flower Shopping - I have made a decision. It is time to stop talking about fixing up my house and start fixing. I started by painting the living room. I'm not done. Let's be honest, this isn't going to be quick. But it's going to get done. There will be doneness, I swear. Part of that is the front of my house, which looks roughly abandoned, except for the scooters. So, Michigan Bulb, here I come. By the way, all the flowers I like are spring flowers, please someone recommend a summer flower for me...
5. The Countdown - The weekend will be here in T minus 4 minutes. And I cannot wait. I will be sleeping late, cleaning house and playing board games with my kids. There will be junk food. And sleep. Did I mention sleep? Because there is going to be lots and lots of sleep.
*If you're going to murder people with an axe, you can spell it with an "e." It's in the rulebooks.
What makes you happy when you're stressed?