Four Love

Fried ice cream and joy. And a big hat. 

Four years ago today, I got up nervous and excited. So nervous that I walked out the door without Brynna's lunch and had to go back for it after I dropped her off. So nervous that I almost left behind my suitcase, but so excited that I checked five times to make sure I had my camera.

Four years ago, I was anticipating Maren. The joy of a planned c-section is a complete lack of surprise. Some people miss that. For me, it meant that I got to focus on the most important surprise: who would she be?

Would she be pretty? Would she be smart? Would she be tall or crazy or funny? Would she love SciFi or Barbies or Lego's? Who would this little girl be?

Four years later, today, the anniversary of the day that I got to meet the embodiment of joy, I can answer so many of those questions.

She is beautiful with her curly hair and chubby cheeks and most importantly - that smile that just won't quit.

She is smart, learning faster than I can teach and picking up on her own things that I can't even imagine.

She is tall (most people think she's five or six), crazy and so very funny.

She loves everything including SciFi, Barbies and Lego's. But mostly, she loves cars, animals and babies.

Everyday with her is an adventure. An amazing adventure. Maren is who I want to be when I grow up - full of wonder, love, kindness, compassion and hope. And completely willing to tell you that what she really needs is a nap.

Watching her this weekend, I realized just how very much she's grown. And part of me wants to freeze her here forever, keep just this amazing little creature around til the end of the world. But a bigger part of me can't wait to see the rest. The answers to the questions I haven't thought to ask yet.

I can't wait to see what those answers look like after another four years. Or fourteen or forty. I want to see the woman she becomes because I'm so amazed by the child she is.