Wednesday, August 22, 2012


Best family portrait. Ever.
I'm a person who remembers random dates. It's just who I am. I don't remember them forever, but they do stick with me for a pretty long period of time. For instance:

7/9/2001 - My first day at work at my first post-college job
2/21/2007 - My first day at work at this job.
5/19/1978 - My best friend in elementary school's birth date. (I have not spoken to her since 7th grade, except for Facebook, which clearly doesn't count.)
9/23/2004 - My last ultrasound with Brynna
5/19/1978 - My ex-boyfriend's best friend's birthday. (Okay, I remember this one and the elementary best friend birthday because it is also my mom's birthday and the only person I've ever known to have my birthday was my ex-preacher's wife and that was just sort of strange.)
10/31/2006 - The day we signed on the house.
2/14/2004 - The day I found out I was pregnant with Brynna.
8/22/2011 - The day The Ex and I split up.

There it is, that last one. The reason I'm telling you all this. August 22. It has been one year since he told me he was going to stay somewhere else and my response was, "Okay."

In that year, we've fought and resolved, we've been more civil to each other than we ever were when we thought there was something there to salvage, we've both started moving on to lives of our own. That's meant different things to each of us, but it boils down to the same thing: we've begun to see the shape of the world without the constant presence of the other person.

Tomorrow we have been separated for over a year and that seems like a big deal. Like a landmark of some type. An anniversary I never planned to have.

I've been through an entire cycle of time. I've handled every season, every holiday, every milestone along the way on my own. I'm better at it than I thought I would be. I'm stronger than I thought I would be.

I've navigated the legal issues and the parenting issues and single homeownership and although I can't say I've done a perfect job, I can say that I've done what seemed like the right thing to do and I am proud of what I've accomplished.

It hasn't been an easy year. But it hasn't been my hardest either.

As far as anniversaries go, I'm going to call this a good one. It's not the day my marriage ended, it's the day my life hit the restart button and I started over. It's the day I discovered I was capable of more than I thought. The day the next part began. It's almost more like a birthday than an anniversary, but whatever it is, I'm happy to have it.

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