Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Ya'll Should Revoke My License

Listen, I know. I know. Really, I know. I've been gone. Perhaps you didn't notice. Just stroke my ego here and pretend you did.

I don't know why, but this time around, I didn't just disappear from my blog. I disappeared from Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and even the wide, wide world of blogging comments. Sometimes, I just fall off the planet.

This morning, I went to read The Six Year Itch, and she said this,
"Blogging is an epic marathon where you publish into the abyss hoping that in all of that darkness a few people show up with a flashlight and shine that light on your words, your story, and find a little bit of themselves in you. And together you can find the sun."
And, hell to the yes. That, in a nutshell is how I have felt for the past couple of weeks. Like I'm just screaming into the abyss.

Have you ever been in a room, maybe at a party, and you are talking, but no one appears to be listening to you and you just want to stop and shout, "Hello! Does my voice not make noise?!?" Or driving down the Interstate and people start cutting you off right and left and you wonder if you accidentally switched your car into stealth mode?

That is how the whole internet has felt to me lately. Like my voice just stopped making noise. I wonder, genuinely if anyone has been hearing me. (I don't mean to be all self-pity, woe is me, but I talk to myself all the time, I'm not sure we need a written record of it.)

Reading Liz this morning reminded me that we all feel like this sometimes. But it reminded me of something else, too. I truly appreciate everyone else who screams into the abyss. I love reading little pieces of your life. Whether it's in blog form or 140 characters. I am listening.

So, I'm going to take it on faith that you're listening too. I am putting an end to my silence. I'm not sure that it matters, but one more voice can make the difference. One more voice can change the world. I don't know if it will, but I don't know that it won't, either.


Suze said...

I know how you feel. I don't think anyone's reading mine, either.
But I missed you, and I read your blog faithfully and I love seeing new posts!!
Keep writing. Keep writing.

Jessi said...

You rock, Suze. And I read yours faithfully too. Not always on time, but I always catch up.

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

I read both of your blogs. It just seems when I try to comment, my computer hates me and eats my comments, and by then I'm so far behind on homework that I don't have time to rewrite what I wrote. Sorry you didn't know I was reading. :-( Love you both, and love reading about your lives. When you don't post for a while, I get twitchy wondering if you're alright.

ann said...

I love your blog, Jessi, and I hear you. I love all three of you (and your blogs), but it's not always easy for me to comment, either. Plus, when I do comment, I see how dorky my words are and feel guilty for putting them on your creative, hip, smart blogs. But if it makes you feel loved to know a dorky girl is reading, then I will comment.

Jessi said...

Pa-leeze. I am so dorkier than you. Plus, I love the way you write in exactly your voice. I can hear you saying whatever you write, which is awesome.