Thursday, March 15, 2012

How do Frogs Sleep

This is an actual conversation I had the other night with my dad.

Jerry: Hey.

Me: Hey. What do you know about frogs?

Jerry: They start out as tadpoles.

Me: Do they sleep with their eyes open.

Jerry: They have a lot of eyelids, so probably not. What would be the point?

Me: That's right. You're right.

Jerry: Why?

Me: Well, there's this frog on my sidewalk and he's not moving and the cats are milling around and I walked right past and he hasn't moved and I think he might be dead, but he's just sitting there, like, not mauled. So maybe he had a heart attack. But his eyes are open. I thought maybe he was asleep.

Jerry: Brynna will get him.

Me: Brynna's in bed.

Jerry: Well, just pick it up.

Me: See, I thought of that. And I would, but what if it's dead? I have this thing about touching dead things and I don't really want to be holding it if it's dead. But I also don't want it to be sitting here all sad and dead when the girls get up. And I have no idea what one would do with a dead frog.

Jerry: What does it look like?

Me: Well, it's brown and it has ridges on it's back.

Jerry: It's a toad. Totally different species from a frog.

Me: Okay. So do toads sleep with their eyes open?

Jerry: I don't know. But they're lazy.

Me: I don't think this is an issue of being lazy, but an issue of a completely abnormal lack of fear from a prey animal. Maybe it's rabid. I'm kidding.

Jerry: It's probably fine.

Me: Okay, I guess I'll just leave it alone.

A couple of points about the above exchange:

  • I never realized that I don't like to touch dead things until I was throwing sticks at a toad.
  • When did I become the woman standing on her sidewalk in the middle of the night, worrying about toads and their state of liveliness?
  • Schrodinger should have just put a toad on a sidewalk, because it seriously existed in both states for me. 
  • The toad was fine, by the way. About an hour later, I took out the trash and he was still sitting there, not moving and looking kind of inanimate, but in a totally different place. This morning he was totally gone. Toadally gone. Forgive me.

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