Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Birth of a Hoarder

Last night:

Me: All I really want is to just go to bed. Is that okay if I go to bed

Smarter Me (SM): No, you idiot. Brynna's not even home yet. Declare cord bankruptcy, you've been talking about that for two weeks.

Me: I don't wanna. Cord bankruptcy is stupid. Who thought of that anyway?

SM: Umm.... You dumbpants.

Me: Whatevs. I guess I can do that.

SM: Don't forget that drawer. And the other drawer. And the drawer in the kitchen. Oh, and that drawer you have to move the couch to get to. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the cord situation wouldn't have gotten so out of hand if you kept them all in one place?

Me: Has it ever occurred to you that the cord situation wouldn't have gotten so out of hand if this were Victorian England.

SM: I fail to see how that applies.

Me: This cord says Fisher Price. Can you think of anything at all Fisher Price that would need a USB cable?

SM: No. So we must not be using it. Throw it out.

Me: But what if it's in the basement and it's totally fabulous and if I could find it I could see it at the consignment sale and make a lot of money? I think we should keep it.

SM: *sigh*

Me: How many telephone cords do you think I should keep?

SM: Considering that you no longer have home phone service and you have a wireless network? Let me think...

Me: Yeah, two is probably enough. A short one and a long one. Unless you think I should keep this red one because it's red.

SM: I think you can live without a red phone cord, since you don't, you know, have a phone.

Me: Okay, so I have 8 USB cables that I don't know what they go to. I'm going to label this box "Cords for Stuff" and then put them all in there and when I need a USB cable for something, I'll know it'll be in the "Cords for Stuff" box. Unless it isn't. And as I discover what cords are for what items, I'll label them and then someday, I'll throw out all the unlabeled cords since I obviously don't use them.

SM: Really? "Cords for Stuff" is your solution.

Me: Look, Brynna's home. Can I go to bed now?

SM: Whatever. You've totally worn me out.


Orlandel said...

I like "Cords for Stuff" but if you run out of room, bring them to my house. I will put them in a box that is labeled "Important Stuff" and add it to my collection of other "Important Stuff" boxes.

Jessi said...

And now the world knows where I get it.

Suze said...

You made me smile :)