Chopped

Brynna has this thing with hair brushing. Part of it is that she has a really tender head and it hurts. Part is that she is melodramatic and makes a much bigger deal out of it than it is.

She's been "growing out her hair" for about a year. For about a year, I've been harping on her to brush her hair, she's been ignoring me and then after two or three days of this nonsense, I sit down and drag a brush through the tangled mess of hair which may or may not be playing host to a small family of birds and she screams like a banshee.

It's fun.

Not really.

Every time I do this - EVERY TIME, I swear that if she doesn't do a better job of keeping her hair brushed, I'm going to chop it off. The husband threatens to shave it. I always give in to the pleading and crying and promises to do better.

This is because I used to have to world's worst haircut. I wish I had a picture for your perusal, but alas, I've banned them from my house. It was short, kind of like a pixie cut, but too long in the back and it was curly. It never looked nice and it made me feel like a little boy in pink clothes. I hated it more than anything else in my early elementary years. I hated that haircut more than gym class and more than the bus and more than The Smurfs (which I loved for a few years and then became oddly derisive of, but refused to quit watching).

I am, simply put, sympathetic to her plight. I, too, wanted long hair. I, too, had a very sensitive head and much drama was had every time it must be brushed. The memory of the six year old me with that terrible shorn head has been preventing me from inflicting a similar fate on my darling daughter.

(By the way - traumatic hair cuts = first world problems, yo.)

But no longer. I have had it. I will not subject myself to the same horror morning after morning. I will not make the choice between horror movie screaming and a kid who looks like she has no mother and certainly not one who is a aware of basic grooming needs. I will not lose small brushes in the knots, go through a bottle of leave-in conditioner a week or discover random hair clips halfway through brushing anymore. I am making a stand. I am taking her to the salon.

But because of my aforementioned trauma, I am making this the nicest punishment ever. I am pre-selecting a handful of haircuts and she gets to pick which one she likes. If there are tears, I'll probably even work in some ice cream. (Because I am a big ole sucker and a terrible disciplinarian.)

And thus, my current trauma: finding said haircuts. My mom has sent me a couple and they are pretty nice. I've found a couple more. But I'm just not sure if any of them will work. Partially because they are all adult haircuts. Do you know what you get when you Google "little girl haircuts?" Go ahead, I'll wait. I'll tell you what you get - toddlers with bobs and teenagers. That's it. Where are the other haircuts? Does every small child in this varied country have a bob? Bobs with bangs, without bangs and with stupid bangs. Then, for good measure there are a couple of shots of girls with long hair or really crazy curly hair.

So, wish my child luck and think of her fondly on Tuesday, when her beloved locks of knots are chopped off. Hope we've found something good by then.