The Inside/Outside Catch 22

This, this is the time of year. The time when I want to be outside. Enjoy it, because by mid-April, it's too freakin' hot for me and I'd rather be inside. Then we have another small window in the fall, say October 1- mid November. I want to be outside.

I'm stir crazy. I'm sick of my house. I'm not enjoying the feeling of constantly recycled air. And I know that very, very soon, it's going to be too freakin' hot. So, right now, I want to be outside. This is only slightly hampered by the rain. In fact, I don't mind being outside in the rain. The rain, as long as it's not hard or particularly cold does not bother me. I am constantly amazed by people who use an umbrella to walk ten feet. The only problem with being outside in the rain is that it limits your ability to read and crochet, which are my favorite things to do when outside. (Yes, I know.)

No, it's not the rain that bothers me. It's the freakin' cleaning. Let me explain. My house is a wreck. The kind of wreck that only happens in the winter. Not that my house is clean all summer, but it's better, you know? Why? Because we are not in it so much. You pick up and it stays picked up. Right now, I pick up and ten minutes later it's tornado country.

So, I want the kids to go outside so I can clean, so that I can go outside and enjoy it, not think about how bad I need to clean. Except that the kids won't stay outside without me. And I think Maren may be a little young anyway. Too old to stick in a pack and play and too young to play outside by herself. Or with a six year old babysitter who would be perfectly happy if she did fall down the hill and quit playing with her toys. 

If I don't get the kids outside, I'll never get it clean. There will constantly be this much to clean and it'll be crazy right up until October. I know because that's what happened last year. But I can't clean the house if I accompany them outside. 

This is why people marry, right? So their significant others may take the kids outside and let them clean in relative peace. So that they, in turn, can take the awesome demon possession book they are reading outside and curl up in the swing? That's how it works, right?

Except that my husband is just like my kids and will only spend about ten minutes outside without me. They neeeeed me. All of them. Or they can't continue to exist. 

So, help me. Because I'm planning a massive spring cleaning next month. (Yes, I'm writing a plan. Is that weird?) How do you get the peace and space to really clean? Is there a camp to which I can send my kids? Or do you hire a babysitter? Tie them in their beds? Enlist them to help? (I know that last one makes the most sense and seems the least ludicrous, until you see the bathroom that Brynna has been "cleaning" all winter. It's time for a good once over and only I can do it right - I am not crazy!)