Thursday, March 10, 2011

Conversations with a Scattered Family

Conversations with a 6 Year Old:
Saturday, Brynna and I ended up watching The Parent Trap. The real one. Not that Parent-Trap-Wanna-Be with Lilo. Anyway. When it was over, we had the following conversation.

Brynna: That is my new favorite adult movie.
Me: Well, it's not exactly an adult movie. It's a Disney movie. For kids. Just kids in a different time. When movies made sense.
Brynna: Oh. Well, then it's my second favorite.
Me: Oookay. What's your first favorite?
Brynna: Ice Castles.
Me: Really? Really? That was punishment. No one likes that movie.
Brynna: I loved it!
Me: Well, okay. What was your old favorite? Before today.
Brynna: Doctor Who.*
Me: Wow. Doctor Who and Ice Castles. What a combination. You are nothing if not random.

*I should point out that while you could make an argument that the Christmas specials are Doctor Who movies, I'm pretty sure she just means the series. She really hasn't mastered the difference between movie and show. So, of her three favorite adult movies - one isn't a movie, one isn't for adults and the other is Ice Castles. And not even the original. Where did she come from?

Conversations with a 2 Year Old:
(at 5:45 a.m. after a trip to the potty)
Maren: I need panties!
Me: Yes, you do. Just give me a minute to find some.
Maren: I want Kai Lan panties!
Me: Hmmm. I have Minnie Mouse. How's Minnie Mouse?
Maren: I want Minnie Mouse panties!! Yay!!!!
Me: Okay, here let me help you.
Maren: (sitting on my leg while I figure out which is the back) We don't pee on Mommy's leg.
Me: No, no we do not pee on Mommy's leg.*

*Definitely one for the Things I Never Thought I'd Have to Say book.

Conversations with a 32 Year Old:
Me: How's Brynna?
The Husband: She's fine.
Me: Does she still have a fever?
TH: Yeah.
Me: Did you give her some Tylenol?
TH: No, I think it's better to just let it run it's course. I don't want to slow this down any.
Me: You do understand, right, that a fever is a side effect of your immune system and is not actually a constructive thing that helps you get better?
TH: ... ...Okay, I'll give her a Tylenol.*

*This is the man who needs his own medicine cabinet because he takes something for every little thing. 

Conversations Between a 6 and 2 Year Old:
Maren: Here comes Swiper! He's going to kill Mommy.
Me: For the tenth time, Swiper does not kill. He swipes. Which is stealing. No one is going to kill anybody in the Swiper game. Seriously. Stop saying "kill."
Brynna: That's right, Maren. Talking about killing and playing about killing is bad. We shouldn't do that and Swiper is really kind of nice sometimes.
Maren: I sorry. Swiper's going to swipe Mommy!! Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping, Swiper NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO swiping.
Brynna: That's better. Oh, look, we just ran over Swiper. He's dead.*

*Apparently, we need to work on our definition of killing.


Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

I laughed so hard about Swiper that I snorted. At work. My boss thinks I'm deranged. Well, he already thought that, but now he thinks it even more so. I'm derangeder. ;-D

Jessi said...

I swear they play that game every day in the car. Swiper's gonna swipe Mommy. Swiper's gonna swipe the car. Swiper's gonna swipe my backpack. Swiper's gonna swipe the WOOOORRRRLLLLDDDD!@!!

Brain numbing.