Thursday, July 8, 2010

Make Me Laugh - I Demand It

Okay, so yesterday, I was sick and spent the whole day in bed. Which wasn't as bad as it sounds. Since I've been sort of run ragged lately and just laying in bed and pretending that nothing needed doing because I had no other choice wasn't completely sucky. There was even a Doctor Who mini-marathon.

But today I am depressed. I am depressed because I'm back at work, because I am coming to face the fact that no matter how hard I try, I am probably not going to make it back to school this fall, because I am so broke that I was glad of being stuck in bed this morning because now my gas may last me through the week. It's not been a stellar day is what I'm saying.

And after writing and rejecting three really depressing, everything's-going-to-crap-and-maybe-I-just-should-have-stayed-in-bed posts, I'm done. I refuse to wallow in my own misery anymore. I refuse to be a victim of my own downward spiral. I shall rise above. At least for a while.

Therefore, I must task you, gentle reader - make me laugh. Please. Otherwise, I may not make it out from underneath the covers tomorrow.


Suze said...

Well, here's an email I just sent my husband at work today:

Daniel just said, from the bathroom:

*grunt, groan, strain*
"Rrrrrg! Mom, I got a big piece out that broke! I'm going to look at it!!"

I know that's pretty gross. But you have kids, so it's okay, right?

Ady said...

Ok this is from a blog that I read but it made me laugh once when I really needed it...

Una Loompa: Songs of Self-Tanning

Every once in awhile I succumb to the siren song of the self-tanning market. This time, I think, I will come out looking like Elle MacPherson dipped in caramel instead of like a preteen drag king version of Valentino.

And yet...


I've done this before. Why don't I learn?

A lesson, in verse:

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me

What do you get when you try to self-tan?
A cross between a zebra and Lindsay Lohan.
Please just accept that your skin is see-through.
Pumpkin is not a good color for you.

(I don't like the look of it.)

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
Embrace your whiteness and you will go far.
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do

Bonus song, because this photo is just too perfect:

White girl!
There's no need to be brown
I said, white girl!
Put the self-tanner down
I said, white girl!
'Cause you look like a clown
There's no like Snooki
Stay away from the DHA
Stay away from the DHA...

Oh, man. I'm cracking myself up. I think these are tears of joy. Off to exfoliate!

Mrs. Allroro said...

This guy made me laugh until I cried this morning. If the first clip doesn't do it for you, try some more.

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

Here's a sick and twisted little game that I had fun playing yesterday. It will more than likely make you laugh - and not just a regular laugh. Oh, no. It'll be one of those snarky, twisted *evil* laughs...

Jessi said...

You guys rock! Thanks so much for the cheering upping. My day ended on an up-note with well-behaved children, garlic bread and Burn Notice. So, there's that.

Joni said...

Jessi, I didn't have anything even remotely positive to post when you first made this request. But I saw a few friends post a link to this email exchange on Facebook today, and I laughed til I cried. And I thought of your request to be made to laugh... So maybe you'll enjoy it??

I hope you're doing better! I had one of those can-barely-get-out-of-bed days today, so I definitely relate.