Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Around the World in 80 Clicks

I am going to participate in a project where moms from all over the world are encouraged to answer a simple question: "Don't you just love being a mom?" That question where only one answer is truly acceptable, but for many of us isn't quite true. If you want to read the beginning of the story: http://badladies.blogspot.com/2009/03/world-according-to-mom.html.

By the way, I'm supposed to tag an international mommy blogger. I don't exactly get the tagging thing, so I'm trying to figure it out and I'm sure I'm doing it wrong, but I'm tagging http://www.sleeplessinkl.com. She is a Filipina married to a Malaysian living in Kuala Lampur. I couldn't be that cool and confusing if my life depended on it.

So, here is my answer. First of all, I want to say that I think that people answer and ask that question the same way they say "Don't you just love life." Notice the period and not a question mark. Sure I love being a mom sometimes. Sometimes, like tonight when I was weeding and Brynna was rescuing all the earthworms clinging to clumps of roots and moving them to another flower bed. Or sometimes when I'm holding Maren and her hair smells like bedtime bath. Or sometimes when Brynna is working hard to make Maren giggle and Maren finally obliges and starts laughing and then Brynna can't help but laugh. Those times I love being a mom.

Sometimes, though, like when Maren cries for no reason for two hours just because it's 9:00 and that's apparently cryin' time. Or when Brynna throws a fit and refuses to leave her aunt's house and I have to chase her down into the dried out creek. Or even when Brynna somehow needs 7 bedtime stories if you expect her to sleep one little tiny wink. Those times, I don't love being a mom. No sane person would.

By the way, every one of those examples has happened since I got off work today. Every freakin' one.

And that's what being a mom is. At it's heart, it's a terrifying, exhilarating, magical mystery rollercoaster. (On a weird side note, did you know that the term Helter Skelter that Charles Manson used to describe his imaginary race war was a song by the Beatles that was about a rollercoaster named Helter Skelter? That's a good name for a rollercoaster and a good name for momhood.) It's up, down, upside down, inside out and those ridiculous curves where you feel like you're lying on your side.

Even in the worst of times, even when you've been thrown up on, pooped on and bled on within a ten minute span, even when you think it would be easier to pull your hair out by the roots than brush out the day old infant cereal, even when you suddenly realize you don't remember your last shower, even then I love my kids and I wouldn't change anything. There has never been a moment when I wished I could go back to my pre-mommy days. On the other hand, there have been plenty of days I couldn't wait until they were 18 and going off to college.

Being a mom isn't easy. It isn't perfect and it's sure not skipping through a flower meadow holding hands in white eyelet dresses, but it is the greatest thing I've ever managed to do with my life. It's who I was meant to be. I never would have really met me if I hadn't met the two most fabulous little girls on the planet. It may be all cheesy, but I wasn't done until I had them.

So, no, I don't just love being a mom. But I love my girls and that's worth more in the long run anyway.