Friday, May 17, 2013

Five Things on Friday: Zombie Apocalypse Dream Team Edition

I stumbled upon this whole Zombie Apocalypse Dream Team meme (eme, eme, eme) and I knew that for better or worse, I was going to spend hours obsessing over it. Here are some of my thoughts on my

Five Top People for My Zombie Apocalypse Dream Team

First, some thoughts on where others have gone wrong. In choosing a team a fictional characters to work together, you have a collection of things to consider. One - how well they will do the job, is where most people leave off. Two - how well they will survive, is also pretty important. And Three - diversity because a bunch of whiny pretty boys who only want to fight are going to make things like meal time, watch schedules and surviving the winter suck. Diversity, people. Also, they need to not kill each other.

1. Brawler - Jayne Cobb (Firefly) - Okay, so Jayne is a fan of the weapons, but he can hold his own in hand-to-hand, too. He's a survivor and he's spent years on a small crew, meaning he knows how to do (and does not think he is above) all the jobs. Finally, he's not really all that bright. I mean, he's smart enough to get out of a pickle, but not smart enough to constantly argue every little thing with the team leader (me).

2. Weapons Expert - Bobby Singer (Supernatural) - This may not make a lot of sense right off the bat, but hear me out. First of all, Bobby knows how to handle more than just zombies, and let's face it, if the zombies come, who knows what else will be behind. Secondly, he's experienced in just about everything. Need a bunker: Bobby's your man. Need someone to pretend to be CIA: Call Bobby. Need to torture a demon for information: Hey, Bobby. Plus, you get a handy two-fer here. Bobby not only acts as the expert on pretty much anything and everything that wants to eat your face, including weapons, but is also the relationship counselor in the group. And every group needs that sooner or later. (Hey Hershel!)

3. Brains - The DoctorDonna (Doctor Who)Okay, I know this is totally impossible. First of all, she's had her memories wiped, so she's just Donna again. Also, I know that leaving her in that state would burn up her brain and that sucks. But let's face it, what you want on your team in the brains department is the Doctor. But you can't have him. He'll be busy trying to stop the zombie apocalypse. He'll also get bored and run off. You just want to survive. Live to fight another day, as it were. The Doctor is going to flit around and leave you and disappear and you need his knowledge and strategy even when he's gone. Enter DoctorDonna, imbued with all his knowledge and creeping people out with her glowing eyeballs. Also, she's a lovely smartass, who doesn't take whining and (unlike a lot of female SciFi/Fantasy characters) is not constantly trying to get someone in bed.

4. Medic - Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries) - Not a doctor, better. He can heal any would by giving you a sip of his blood. Plus, he's pretty. I'm sorry, but I need some eye candy here.

5. Guy Who Dies First - Kenzi (Lost Girl) - Here's my reasoning. Kenzi is a completely helpless humany type living in a world of super powers and politics. She should have died a million times already. But she hasn't. Why? Because she's scrappy, smart, quick and she can work those super high heels. (Bring flats, Kenzi.) If Kenzi is our girl who dies first, no one will ever die, because by all appearances, she's invincible.

*I thought about casting this entirely from zombie shows/movies/books. I may do a second run actually that follows that. But I think part of the point of zombie media is that you don't get to pick your team. You end up with this unlikely group of survivors and you make it work. Because you don't have the choice..

Who's on your team?


Strangeite said...

I actually think you need one person and that person isn't even a fictional character.

Les Stroud.

Seriously. The guy goes deep in the wilderness to film a television show that teaches you how to survive. The difference between his and all of the pretenders?

They film with camera operators, boom operators, lighting techs, producers, etc.

Les does the whole show by himself.

When you see him scale down the side of a rocky cliff in the pouring rain? He climbed down the cliff, set the camera up, climbed back up and filmed himself coming down.

When he develops some kind of terrible infection in his foot and needs to get back to civilization? He still has to carry all of his camera gear, batteries, etc. By himself.

The best defense in a zombie apocalypse is to get as far away from civilization as possible. I can think of no better person to have at your side than Survivorman.

Jessi said...

I think there's actually a happy medium on the civilization front. You need to be far enough away to avoid the hordes and inherent problems that population density causes in a zombiepocalypse, but you also need to be near enough to scavenge. Small towns and outlying farms are my preferred plan. I mean, you could not scavenge by living completely survivorman-style, but that's not really in my wheelhouse. I think that's more of a short term strategy for me.