Five Things on Friday - You're Sick, Jessi Edition

I've been sick. Since Saturday if I'm going to be honest with myself. But the last two days have been the worst. Today, I am somewhat back in the land of the living, hobbling around and hacking up a lung. In the meantime, I have spent a lot of time laying on my love seat and lamenting the state of my world.

While I was at that, I discovered that there are quite a few things that annoy me when I am ill. Here are some of them.

Five Things that Piss Me Off When I'm Sick

1. Nice weather - This whole week has been fabulous weather-wise. It's crisp and cool, but sunny and bright and the light has shifted in the sky in the way that truly and completely means that summer is over. The trees have changed and everything is absolutely glorious. Fall is my favorite and my best and I have spent what will probably be the best days of the whole season in bed. With a pile of tissues and a remote control. Everyday I walk outside and see my roses going nuts and my mums inexplicably shriveling up. I want to replant the mums and deadhead the roses. I want to mulch my flower beds and paint my porch posts. I want to be outside because this is the only time of year I like being outside. See, it's not that common for me to want to do any of these things. Typically, a yard is an annoyance that has to be mowed in my world. Totally wasted.

How I hate you, stupid watery,
achey, burny eyeball of doom.

2. My eyeballs - The worst thing about being sick is that there are only three things I feel like doing: sleep, read and watch TV. The first is no problem. In fact, I would say that in the last 48 hours, I have slept nearly 30. But when I'm not sleeping, my eyes hurt and I all I want to do is read or watch TV and I can't stand to. Because of my stupid eyeballs. I've never understood the connection, either. Why does a chest cold make my eyes hurt?

3. Afghans - Okay, so as a crocheter, I have a difficult time putting down anything hand-made. Especially afghans. For you non-crocheters: an afghan represents anywhere from 20 to 80 hours of hard-core, repetitive work. Afghans are fun and they are usually pretty easy, but they are not quick. They are also expensive. Really expensive. But when I am sick and cuddled up on the couch, please, take your afghans and shove 'em down your pants. There is nothing worse than having a little toe peeking out of the needlework and not having the energy to rectify the situation. Then, you feel like your toe might freeze off, so you start adjusting, only it won't adjust right and suddenly, you are tied up in a giant afghan knot. Seriously, just give up and get a quilt.

4. The Entire Kitchen - Cooking while sick might be what I spend all my time doing in hell. Either that or navigating the Atlanta airport. But you know, you're sick - you've got to eat. Or drink. Or even just have something to wash the medicine down. Good luck with that. I promise, if I am sick, suddenly there are no clean cups, we are out of butter and jam and the pot I like to make soup in is mysteriously missing.

5. Television - Two words: Talk. Shows. Thank pants for DVR.

What makes you miserable when you're already miserable?