Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day

I have about 70 projects pending and 0 finished. At least 0 that I've remembered to take pictures of. In lieu of What's in My Crochet Bag this week, I'm going to write about Mother's Day gifts, from my current perspective. Which is a big sarcastic ball of glass half-empty. Just so you know. I will be entertaining exactly zero comments about appreciating what I have. I do. That doesn't mean that I can't snark about it.

Yesterday was Mother's Day. You should know this unless you don't have a mother. In which case, I'd like to offer you my condolences or ask you which alien lifeform you may be, as the case may be. For those of with mothers, Mother's Day is the one day set aside to honor our mothers and tell them just how special they are. We, in the US, typically do this by making their lives hell.

For instance, in the grand tradition of Mother's Day, my family made me breakfast in bed. This tradition is perfectly nice for those of you with maids. For those of us (read me) who are going to have to wash all of the bed linens after a jelly induced incident which is inevitable when a person under the age of 13 serves you biscuits and jelly in bed, it's joy is marginally lessened.

To be clear, my husband letting me sleep and cooking a meal and then my kids bringing me said meal and crawling in bed with me was the highlight of my day. There is nothing nicer than waking up to prepared food and non-fighting children. And if those children want to snugglebug while we eat the turkey bacon I was totally keeping aside for BLT's, then I will happily and smilingly oblige.

Another lovely tradition of Mother's Day is, of course, flowers. And because I am a practical mama, who does not like to think about my hard earned money wilting sadly in a vase on the kitchen table, I received, through the largess of my church, 3 plantable flowers - 2 petunias and a marigold. And while I greatly appreciate and love these flowers, it does, in fact, mean that I have to weed my flower patch and plant them before my house kills them.

It seems to me that most mothers receive gifts for their homes, gardens or mommy-type hobbies on this day. Perhaps it's a national nostalgia for all things motherly and applie-pie-ish. Apple pie, by the way, would make an excellent gift (as long as you, the giver, were responsible for the dishes afterwards. Or, you know what, just buy disposables. Because you're not going to actually wash them. Even if you think you are.)

You see, I love my gifts and my children and the time we spend together - I do. I agonized over the knowledge that Brynna did not want to be with me on Mother's Day and the fact that if there is only one day a year when my kids are going to be forced to be with me, whether they like it or not, it's going to be... Christmas. But Mother's Day is a close second.

It's just that it occurs to me that most "traditional" Mother's Day gifts are not helping her out any. I think we should all honor mom on her special day with what she (read I) truly wants most in the world: a maid.


Suze said...

hear, hear

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

Love the snark and I agree wholeheartedly! I begged Jamie to get his BB to take some good pictures of him, because I had no money for portraits this year. He took Jamie out on Saturday and e-mailed some lovely shots to me on Sunday. Yay, Bill!

Joni said...

I have to share that I've learned the secret to getting exactly what you want for Mother's Day: Be very very ill. I laid on the couch most of the day Sunday. Justin made me breakfast, took Elias to church & then to McDonald's (and brought me home an iced cappucino!), mowed the lawn, and made himself a sandwich for dinner. I laid on the couch and watched a few back episodes of The Biggest Loser on Hulu. The most time I've had relaxing by myself in years! Dang! If I hadn't been so sick, that might've been the perfect day! ;)

Jessi said...

Jenn - Yay for BB's! Pictures are so hard.

Joni - It's sad that we have to be sick to spend a day on the couch, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Baaaahahaa! Rolling on the floor laughing and bawling at the same time!