|I'm missing this smile a lot lately.|
When Brynna has been downright unbearably unpleasant, typically we've had something else going on. I used to take her the doctor when she got mean and it would turn out to be an ear infection. And you should have seen the fits when she was being abused by the bad daycare.
So, I figured I'd err on the side of caution and take her in. A half an hour later, I was leaving with an order for a CT scan, "just to make sure there's nothing neurological going on." I stressed and flipped out, but at least it was only 24 hours until the scan and then about 18 until the results.
When they told me the CT was clear and from here on out, we'd be keeping a headache journal to determine if maybe she was having migraines, I breathed a big, ole sigh of relief. Nothing like a tumor to put little old migraines in perspective. They should do all kid illnesses this way.
Unfortunately, the relief has worn off and what I am left with is an ever-increasing sense of helplessness. I don't know when she's throwing a fit if it's because her head hurts or because she's spoiled rotten. And I can't ask, because that's just handing her an out. I don't know how to make it better or when the next one is going to strike, or what's causing them.
In the meantime, I'm just trying to do my job. I'm trying to make her behave without making her miserable. I'm trying to keep her calm without giving in to her fits. I'm trying to manage something that I'm not even 100% sure is going on. This is hard.
Of course, it's still not a tumor and it's hard not to feel a little relief about that.