Friday, February 25, 2011

Five Things on Friday: Housekeeping Edition

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the desire to yell, "Am I the only person who lives here?" I try to control that urge and not yell it, because obviously, I am not. If I were the only person living there, there would never be food under beds or socks in the couch cushions. There would never be three day old cereal and milk in the bathroom (?!?) or towels soaked in lemonade in peoples' beds. I would never have to listen to someone whine about having no clean socks for two solid weeks, while I washed every single white item I could find, only to discover that all their socks were stuffed together into a box underneath their bedskirt - like a self-defeating hoarder.

Of course, there are things I would miss if I lived alone. I'm sure. My mom tells me that an empty house is sad, and I am forced to believe her because she's been there and I have not. But that is not for me to focus on today. Today, I shall share

5 Things that The People I Live with Do to Annoy Me

1. The toilet paper roll thing - In a fit of absolute, positive typicalness, I am going to rant against people who never replace the toilet paper roll. Here's the thing: how hard is it? I mean really. You're already sitting there. It's right beside you. What do you have better to do? Are you somehow too busy to pop the old roll off, toss it in the general direction of the trash can and place the new roll on? Is it saving you milliseconds to just toss the new roll up there in that basket on the back of the toilet? You know, the one that I can't reach, because it's behind me. Yeah, that one. I swear, I could spend hours and hours, days and days expounding on the virtues of changing the roll. I once went on strike. I refused to change the roll for two months. Do you know what happened? No one changed the roll for two months. Seriously. And no one suffered but me, the one with the short little T Rex arms who can't reach the basket directly behind her back.

2. The Bathroom Sink - Right now, my bathroom sink looks terrible. I've gone in there to clean it three times and I keep just walking back out. Because I'm so frustrated I could scream. I thought that after having to clean out the sink trap because it had completely quit draining, my delightful husband would stop trying to wash the tiny bits of hair he shaves off his head down the drain. I was wrong. Of course, he doesn't try all that hard, so most of it is left for me in the bowl of the sink. All stuck with soap suds and disgust. Add to that the blobs of toothpaste that my children refuse to just rinse away that turn to aqua blue (glittery!) concrete and the soggy cat food (no I am not making this up), and you can see why I would rather let my head explode than clean the freakin' sink.

3. Packed suitcases - My kids love to pack their suitcases. They routinely do it for even one night at a grandmother's. And they want to do it themselves. I usually go check and make sure they have stuff like underwear and socks, but I mostly let them. Because it's one more thing I don't have to do and because I am totally going to have to unpack that suitcase. Here's the thing - packing is not easy. You have to remember what you need, what the place you are going will probably have, what the weather difference will be like. Unpacking, on the other hand is a cinch. You fish out your toothbrush, toothpaste, detangler and hairbrush and then you just dump all the rest in the hamper. Honestly, it only takes a second. But my kids just put their completely packed suitcases away in the closet. And because they each have two hairbrushes, toothpbrushes etc, so if they leave one somewhere we aren't screwed, I don't notice until I am tearing apart the basement trying to find Brynna's one and only plain white shirt that she has to wear with the cheetah jacket or she's going to diiiieeeee. Or Maren's Kai Lan panties which she must have for tomorrow because "We don't PEEE on Kai Lan!!"

4. Organizing the toy bins - I'll admit, my kids are pretty good about putting their toys in the correct bins - when they put their toys away. Too often we shuffle them off to bed without making them put them up because we've lost track of time and we're annoyed and headachey and please, please, please, just go to bed and let us watch grown-up TV and read and relax and have conversation that doesn't involve poop or that one time of Wizards of Waverly Place... And then The Husband comes along and picks them all up and dumps them in one bin. The wrong one. And the next thing I know, Brynna has dumped her entire My Little Pony bin on the floor and is crying because she can't find Rarity and Maren is rooting through her toy bins trying to find the rest of her mega blocks and there are fourteen crayons in the puzzle bin. I don't know why I can't explain to everyone that cleaning up the mess by putting things in the wrong place - just causes a bigger mess. Just take a second and put the stupid Littlest Pet Shops in this bin and the My Little Ponies in that bin and the Little People in the one over there. How hard is that? Also, when will toy manufacturers come up with something that doesn't involve the world little - we get it. Toys are for kids.

So, what are the little things you'd like a little help with? Do you ever, like me, swear that they are trying to drive you over the edge one toilet paper roll at a time?


Mrs. Allroro said...

the dishwasher. it's not that big a deal, really, and i know I shouldn't complain b/c my husband actually does put his dirty dishes in the sink and doesn't leave them in the bathroom like I would, but could you not just go the extra step and put them in the dishwasher? I've told him, I don't care if you don't put them in the place I would put them--I'll rearrange it. He said he doesn't know if they're clean or dirty. I even made a little sign and stuck it on the dishwasher and have been changing it from clean to dirty every time, and still, the dishes are in the sink. No excuses.

And, I'm feeling kinda pathetic about complaining about this b/c at least we have clean water in our house. We have a house. We have each other. and so on.

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

I am SO with you on this list!!!!!

Suze said...

My husband always puts his dirty socks NEXT to the hamper instead of inside it. Like there's something so hard about opening the lid. I'm trying to train my kids, at least, to put their dirty clothes in the hamper, and it's sorta kinda working.

This is sort of general, but what drives me crazy right now is that I feel like I clean up everything. We make the kids pick up toys and that's fine, but it takes 2 seconds for our little house to look messy, esp since the kids and I are home a lot, and as soon as I do dishes or vacuum or fold laundry, there's another pile of something ready for me to deal with. It's just never ever done.

Jessi said...

Mrs. A - It's okay to complain sometimes. I get the dishwasher thing. Bob won't rinse the dishes before he puts them in, so they have to be washed two or three times which is a big ole waste of water. He loads it though, so I try not to complain.

Suze - Oh, the socks. Everyone takes off their socks wherever they think about it and so there are socks in every room of the house. I really hate that. We have three hampers upstairs or there is the option of throwing them down the basement stairs. Plenty of options.

Bob and I kinda go back and forth on feeling like we clean everything and right now Bob is doing most of it because I'm prepping for my consignment sale, but there are some things that he will never do.

Joni said...

Erm, is it just me, or are there only 4 things on this Five Things list???

Let me tell ya, though, seriously. I had to get up and go to the bathroom halfway through reading this because I was laughing so hard I was going to wet my pants! Serious understanding coming from this direction! Item #2 (the bathroom sink) may be my single biggest peeve about the way my husband keeps house. Thankfully, we don't have a cat, so at least there's no cat food. But seriously. Wrong in every way.

Suze already mentioned my other one, which is dirty laundry everywhere. Our hamper doesn't even have a lid, so he just chooses not to drop his dirty clothes one foot further into the basket. And then he never wears clothes more than once because he "doesn't know which ones were clean & which ones were dirty." Well, if you'd put the dirty ones IN the hamper, you'd know the others were clean! Ahem. That is all.

Jessi said...

Wow. I can't believe I only had four on that list. I wonder what I was doing that I missed that nonsense. Ah well. Further proof on the necessity of proofing.