Five Things on Friday – Long Car Rides Edition

I adore my children, but sometimes, sometimes, I could just sit on them and squish to loudness right out of them. This morning was one of those mornings. There are certain things my kids do, primarily in the car, that drive me right over the freakin’ edge. This morning they did all of them. Then I got a flat tire. Which just proves that God has a sense of humor. You know what God, just quit laughing at me.

Ah, the good ole days. When one of you couldn't talk!

1.    Repeating – You know that thing kids do where they try to drive their siblings and parents crazy by repeating everything someone says. Maren is doing that. I’m not sure if she’s just figured out it drives us crazy or if this is some weird speech development phase, but here’s a sample:

Brynna: I wish that McDonald’s…
Maren: I wiss that Donals…
Brynna: (valiantly trying again) I wish that McDonald’s…
Maren: I wiss that Donals…
Brynna: I’m trying to talk now.
Maren: (Louder) I’m trying to talk now.
Brynna: (Turning on massive amounts of whine) It’s my turn to talk.
Maren: (Getting really loud now) It’s my turn to talk.
Brynna: You’re driving me crazy.
Maren: You’re driving me crazy.
Brynna: Mommy!
Maren: Mommee!
Me: Silence Game! Let’s play the silence game!

2.     Lights – I drive a minivan. Full of conveniences. There are 8 cupholders in my van. There are only seven seats. I love this. One of the many conveniences is that almost every seat has its very own reading light. Which rocks. Except that my kids have decided that they are incapable of riding in dark car. What’s weird is that they have opposite car light needs. Brynna insists on having the light on when we are on the way home. Because she is afraid of the dark. Maren is content to look out the window at the stars coming out and the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow. However, Maren insists on having the light on in the mornings on the way to school. Brynna likes to spend this time either pretending to sleep so I’ll feel guilty (doesn’t work) or chattering endlessly. Either way, she doesn’t need a light. The problem with the light is that it makes it hard to drive. I can’t see right when the light is on and my rearview mirror will then only show my kids, not the cars behind me. Plus, for some reason it makes me sleepy in the morning. I can’t explain why, but if I can drive in the dark, I am a lot more alert.

3.    Shoes – Maren has this weird need to take off her shoes in the car. I don’t know what possesses her to do this, but it means that when we get where we are going, I have to stand in the rain, snow, sleet, blinding wind and crippling cold to put those boots back on before we go in the house. Which really wears on me.

4.    Kicking – My mom used to yell at me all the tine about putting my feet on the back of her seat in the car. I would swear that she was lying, there was no way she could feel that. Now, I know that she was being gentle. My back is pretty much always killing me when I get to work. As soon as I say “No,” or “Stop that,” or “Please just stop fighting,” the crying and kicking starts.

5.    Singing Different Songs at the Same Time – They get this from The Husband. He will happily ignore the radio and sing (just loud enough for us to hear) whatever song strikes his fancy. Which irritates me to no end. Either sing what’s on the radio or turn the radio off, but I can’t handle the opposing songs game. And now Brynna does it to irritate me; which is bad enough, and then Maren has to do whatever Brynna does, so she sings a different song twice as loud and I swear one day my head is going to pop off my shoulders and go rolling down the Interstate.

What do your kids do that drives you crazy?