Earlier in the week, My Tornado Alley started writing this 30 Days of Truth series, and I thought, "Oh yeah. I'd like to do that. That's pretty cool." And then I read the list of thing and I thought, "Oh, no. I'm not sure I can do that. I'm not sure I'm okay with quite that much truth."
And now, two days later (or maybe even just one, time makes my head hurt) here I am. See, everyone's doing it and I don't know, it seems like such a good idea. Truth. Unfettered, undressed, uninhibited truth. (On a side note, has anyone else ever thought that uninhibited is probably just the same thing as hibited?)
Truth is the golden word, isn't it. Truth, justice and the American way. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God. Truth is the ivory castle we all hope to achieve, the center of what we long to be, the hope at which we continually grasp.
It isn't so simple as the opposite of a lie, or even the opposite of an untruth, because I can fail to lie and still not truly express the truth. And after all, there really only is lying, but there is truth and then there's Truth.
And look, I'm babbling. I'm babbling along, praying I never get to the truth. Which, I think, is the point of this exercise. To make us get to the truth. To put ourselves out there in a new and exciting way.
I just wrote and erased this whiney bit about how no one is ever truly "truthful" with anyone else, because we are never really and truly that exposed. And yeah, whatever, that's true enough. But we are also talking about the internet here. I can be truthful, I can share things I've never shared before, talk about things I don't talk about and still not tell everything. For one thing, because no one wants to read all that, but for another, because I think (to me at least) that this isn't about losing control, but about taking control of your own truth.
It's about telling your stories, your secrets, your truths without shame, without self-loathing, without hurt. Because it makes you a better person, a better story teller and a better friend/wife/mom/whatever.
If life is an oyster and there is some elusive pearl being formed from the pain and anxiety and joy and hope and strife and misery and mundaneness all around us, then there must be a tiny grain in the center of that pearl. A grain who will determine the final shape of that beautiful pearl. I can't see it, but I know it's there. And I want to tell you about it. Little by little.
So, tomorrow I start telling the truth in a whole new way. I will not do this for 30 straight days. I'll take breaks and it may take me months to get through it. I may still be writing this series next October. I'm okay with that and I hope you are too.
If you want to participate, I think that's great. If you don't, I think that's great too. If you think this whole thing is stupid, feel free to use this post as a drinking game - just take a shot every time I say truth. Please, though, use something light weight, because I don't want your alcohol poisoning on my head.
I don't think there's any organization to all this. Just a bunch of bloggers blogging. Here are the topics:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself