It's a tricky question, and one I've been pondering and also totally not the point. During the sermon, the pastor said that forgiveness is easy, as long as you practice it. It will be hard in the beginning, but as you get more and more in the habit, it will get easier and easier. And a light bulb went off in my head.
How many times in my life have I heard that practice makes perfect? How many things (crafts, cooking, child rearing issues) have I applied that theory to? And it never occurred to me that it applies to everything, not just what you do but who you are.
I want to be a forgiving person, therefore, I should forgive. Over and over again, until it's easy.
Or, more to the point, I want to be a happy person. A joyful person. I want to see the amazing in the mundane. I look at those people, those people who always have something nice to say, something to smile about, some pleasant perspective on the world and I am envious.
I don't want to be a smiling automaton who never sees the dark side, and there is a certain appeal to my snarky cynism, but I do want a little more joy in my life, a little more light. And I will only get it one way - practice.
Perhaps after I've mastered joy, I'll just work my way through the rest of the fruits of the spirit.
In the meantime, I'm focusing on joy. I want something to smile about. And it's really not all that hard. To that end, I've joined Grace in the Small Things, started by the very funny and successfully snarky, Schmutzie.
And Practice: 5 Things (Not Even on a Friday) in which I can, today, find grace and joy.
- They Might Be Giants - Otherwise known as the only CD that both of my children AND I enjoy in the car. And okay, they are burning me out a little on "Why the Sun Shines," but then they humor me enough to listen to "Birdhouse in my Soul" a couple of times and we're all good.
- Supernatural - Tomorrow I am going to be home on a Friday night (gasp!) and I am going to watch my most favoritest show and swoon every time Jensen walks onscreen.
- Haunted Houses - I haven't been to one since before Brynna was born, but I'm going this weekend. And hopefully, I'm not going to be pulled out for hyperventilating (which I only do when it's claustrophobic).
- Halloweentown - Brynna and I have been watching these movies all week on Disney Channel and I have no idea why I love them so, but I do. I really, really do. Bless Marnie.
- Cake - My meeting of church ladies tonight is at the baker's house, so I'm really looking forward to some sort of culinary delight. I'd be perfectly happy if she only served dessert. Perfectly happy.