No, really. I'm still here. I'm fighting against a startling lack of things to talk about. It's not that I don't have anything to talk about, really, just that I don't have anything I want to talk about. Which is different, but still substantial. In any case, I'm going to share some funny things that have been said in my presence in the last few days. I hope they make you laugh.
1. The other day at work, I was telling my work friend about this college friend of mine who has moved somewhere awesome. I actually don't know where he lives now, but I know he mentioned snow on Facebook earlier in the week, and I almost cried out of a desire to be there, wherever there is. I said I was going to call him and try to convince him that he had always been in love with me. My awesome work friend, C, responded, "Of course, he might say, 'Aren't you married?' and you'll have to say, 'Yeah, but not in a weird way.'" I don't even know what that means, but I think it's possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard.
2. The Husband made boiled chicken for supper. It's a long story. Anyway, when Brynna took her first bite she said, "Ew. This chicken tastes like hot water." I said that she should put some stuffing on top and that would make it better. "I didn't say I didn't like hot water," was her very sensible response.
3. Working on a project today, I had to make tabs for a handful of organizations in a large notebook. One of the organizations was Save Southern Pines Association, which I typed on the tab. Unfortunately, I made the tab too big, "Are these supposed to say, 'Save Southern Pines Ass?'" asked C, as she helped me.
4. Brynna and I were discussing her reading homework tonight. We had a disagreement about what the instructions were asking for. "Mommy! You're embarrassing me." I paused a moment, "I don't think you know what that word means." Incensed, Brynna flew to defend herself, "Yes I do." "Okay, then you understand that you can't be embarrassed if there's no one here to see or hear what I'm saying and doing." I responded. "The couch is here and I'm embarrassed to for the couch to hear you say that."
5. Yesterday was a bad day. At one point, a semi driver got out his truck and started walking toward me yelling and cussing. I threw the car in reverse and got out of dodge. I was telling my boss, from New York, about the incident. "Ah, road rage," she said. "I guess. No one's ever done that to me before," I responded. "Well, that's because you've always lived in the South," she answered. "You people get plenty mad, but you never stop being polite." Yep. Welcome to the South.