Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Conversations with a One Year Old

Since my five year old is about to be six, I thought it was high time I posted a new conversations. The problem is, she's not been all that hilarious lately. But Maren... Oh, that child has been a font of amazing statements.
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Maren: MOMEEEE! MOMEEE!
Me: Yes, dear.
Maren: MOMEEE!*
Me: What?!?
Maren: I ridin' the horsey?
Me: Yes, you rode the horsey. That was fun, huh?
Maren: NO! I wan ridin' the horsey RIGH NOW!
Me: Well, sweetie, you can't ride the horsey right now, we're in the car.
Maren: AAAHHHHHH! Why, why, why?!?!
Me: Brynna, can you help me change the subject.
Brynna: Look, Maren, ducks!
Maren: DUCKS? DUCKS! DUCKS! MERE, DUCKS, MERE! I HAZ CRACKERS FOR YOU!**
Brynna: And cows!
Maren: COWS? COWS! I RIDIN' THE COWS?!?

* When Maren screams your name, "What?" is the only appropriate response. Anything else you say, anything say, more polite, will just cause her to continue screaming your name.

** Blatant lie - she had no crackers.
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Walking out to the car from the babysitter's.
Me: Did you have a good day with your friends?
Maren: Yeah.
Me: Did you get in trouble?
Maren: Yeah.
Me: You did? What did you do?
Maren: I put my finger in Cal* eye.
Me: You poked Calvin in the eye?
Maren: Yeah.
Me: Why would you do that?
Maren: I wan the bear.
Me: You poked him in the eye to get the bear.
Maren: Yeah.
Me: Did you get in trouble?
Maren: Yeah. Mimi yell at me.
Me: Well, I would hope so. Hold on. Answering phone. Hi, Mimi. Yeah. Oh that's fine. We were just talking and Maren was telling me about poking Calvin in the eye.
MiMi: Oh. Yeah, I forgot to tell you. She was trying to get the bear.
Me: Well, at least she's honest.

*Name changed to protect the injured.
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Me: Bedtime, Maren.
Maren: No!
Me: Yep, sorry, it's bedtime.
Maren: I sit on potty.
Me: You need to go potty first?
Maren: Yeah.
Me: Okay.
Five minutes later.
Me: Okay, now it's time for bed.
Maren: No!
Me: Yep. Let's go to bed.
Maren: I take baff?
Me: No, no bath. Bed.
Maren: I read story?
Me: Yes, go pick a story and I'll read to you in bed.
Maren: Shoot.
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As a bonus:

Brynna: Mommy, did that guy say, "Jessie's girl?"
Me: Yeah. The name of this song is, "Jessie's Girl."
Brynna: Hey! It's a song about me.

8 comments:

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

Wow! Must have been one short conversation!

Orlandel said...

It's like the conversations I have with my husband. I talk for 20 minutes and this is what he hears....

Jessi said...

Yeah. I'm not sure who to blame, my fancy-schmancy new keyboard or Blogger. Definitely, definitely not MY fault, though. :)

Jessi said...

It is fixed, though. Come back and read the hilarity.

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

Your girls are too funny! And Brynna cracks. me. up!!!

Steve said...

I just love these posts. Especially how you now try to enlist Brynna to help manage Maren. I do exactly the same with Oliver when trying to manage Lucy!

Suze said...

:)

Jessi said...

Jenn - Thanks. :)

Steve - Yeah, I wouldn't survive my morning car rides if it weren't for Brynna helping me move away from the more screamy topics. Like HORSEYS!!!