Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Second Child Syndrome

You know, I joke about SCS a lot. But it's like making fun of yourself. You only do it so someone else won't.
I am really terrible about it. I have probably 20 times as many photos of Brynna than Maren and she's only been here 4 more years. The pictures on my desk at work never get updated, so the picture of Maren... is the hospital picture. She's 20 months, now.

Brynna had professional shots taken at 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year. Maren had them at 6 months.

It's not just pictures either. I seem to never have a diaper with me. Part of that is because Brynna took a diaper bag to daycare, but Maren doesn't, so I don't ever have the leftovers, but still. Come on. How hard is it to put a diaper in your purse? Apparently, very.

A great deal of Maren's clothes are ruined, because I never, ever bother with bibs this time around. And okay, I don't need to hand them down, but it would be nice to consign some of those church dresses.

I am always losing Maren's shoes. I don't even understand how this is feasible.

The other night, The Husband asked me when we started doing bedtime stories for Brynna. After serious digging in my brain, I finally came up with about her first birthday. Did I mention that Maren is 20 months. That only makes me 8 months behind.

I really need to start thinking about moving her to her big girl bed, but I can't until I figure out where I'm going to get a desk and how I'm going to fit it in Brynna's room.

I can't even keep my mind on this post.

I know that I need to work at this.

But, frankly, the two kids thing is hard. I'm tired. I'm crazy. I've lost all semblance of memory. I don't know how to get organized to the point of getting a diaper in every bag I ever walk out of the house with. I don't remember how to glue the camera to my eye. This all makes me a little crazy, but I can't seem to break out of it.

So, who has help for me? Who can tell me tricks and tips they have for remembering little stuff, getting pictures taken, making things special for one kid without totally leaving the other one out, etc.

So far, Maren is happiest snuggling in my lap or playing with permanent markers and scissors, but I can't rely on that forever!


Suze said...

I'm sorry I can't help you. I stay at home with my kids, so I guess that's how I do it. But it also means I live and breathe according to the laundry and who needs a snack, so there's definitely a trade-off.

And obviously, I forget diapers, too!

Suze said...

P.S. the thing I've been really terrible about with the second child is sleep. I get into bed with her in the middle of the night when she wakes up and I stay there until morning. I never spoiled Daniel like that. And I never bothered to try getting Anya into a nap routine, even as a baby, whereas with Daniel I at least made a half-hearted attempt. My kids have always been such lousy nappers that I didn't see the point. We've suffered for it, but we would have if I'd tried to force the issue, so I guess it's a draw. There. Feel better?


Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

Here's my question re: SCS - I will be 39 when my son graduates from high school. This means I will have still several years of potential fertility, and there's a possibility I could have a second child after he's already in college (weird, right?!). Anyway, if I have my second child when my first is already grown and out of the house, would I still subject my youngest to SCS, or would it be like having a second first child (if that made sense)?

Jessi said...

That, Ms. Jenn, is a question for my mother. I don't know. I think that by then things will be so different, you'll have to re-learn it all. And I think, for me at least, SCS is a direct result of not stressing the little things as much because I've got it under control.

Jamie Roberts said...

keep a diaper bag in the car at all times. story time with both of them before the bedtime stuff, then they are both getting the benefits, or have the older one start reading to the baby with your help. i don't think the picture thing means you care any less about the changes, it's just too expensive and too time consuming when you are juggling two little ones. so try to get a family picture or at least one with the girls every year. doesn't have to be professional, Easter is always a good time for family pics, so is Christmas. Finally, don't sweat the small stuff, in the end, the kids know you love them-even if you don't have the photo to prove it ;)

Mom said...

You would have a second only child. Everything is different from the way they deliver the baby to the way the school system works. I was much more relaxed and there isn't as much comparing the first to the second, but there is more guilt that you are doing more for the second and not the first (of course, they are already gone from your house so there really isn't a comparison.

My second only child was born when my first was 13 (he started Kindergarten the same year she started college), but a friend just had her second baby - a month after her first graduated from high school. I can't imagine having a baby at this point in my life....

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

Thanks for the info! I've always wondered about that, Jessi's Mom, and what you said confirmed what I sort of thought.