Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Everyday SuperHeroes

I have this theory. My theory states that we are all superheroes. We each and every one of us has a superpower. They are just such totally mundane superpowers that we don't consider them to be superpowers.

For instance, my mother has the superpower of always knowing what to do. She, like the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy should have "Don't Panic" on her uniform, because she has such a calming effect when you are thinking about panicking.

The Husband's superpower has something to do with inappropriate jokes. I actually hung up on him yesterday because he made me so upset while trying to make me laugh.

I believe that our young don't develop their powers fully until adulthood. It is possible to see glimmers of the powers to be sometimes, though. I imagine that Brynna's power will take one of three manifestations: waking up with perfect hair, putting together outfits that would make other people look like they got out of bed blind but look fabulous on her, or perfect handwriting.

So far, all I've seen for Maren is the ability to eat anything at all. This will come in handy if she is ever a judge on Iron Chef America.

And what of me? My superpower is the ability to see deer. I used to drive in bliss, believing (stupidly) that my ability would save me from trouble. I could see deer and be cautious of them and continue living. Also, eventually, I intend to learn to shoot a gun, then with my incredible ability, I will have something useful to offer the post-apocalyptic world. (Not that I intend to survive, mind you, but it never hurts to be prepared.)

Monday night, I watched helplessly as a buck ran full tilt and rammed the side of my car. It was upsetting to say the least. Frankly, it was a little astounding. It turns out that in addition to being big, destructive, prone to overpopulation and fairly tasty, deer are dumb. Which makes me wonder why so many seem to have a problem with them being killed.

Anyway, my gift has become a curse.

Since I know now just how idiotic your average deer is and I no longer believe that my ability to see deer will aid me any in not getting pulvarized, I am having some trouble driving.

I love to drive. I especially love to drive in the city and deep in the country. It's one of the reasons why I live where I live. The 20 minute drive from town to smaller town gives me a twice daily dose of a nerve tonic that could never be bottled. Curves, hills, trees, birds. The roar of the engine in the straight stretches and the absentminded brake then accelerate of a good, sharp curve.

But, the last two nights I have found myself dreading that drive. The potential for deer in every curve. Especially during hunting season. And now that seeing the deer makes no impact, it's bracing to say the least to drive home waiting for them to attack my car.

I'm deer shy.

I have met my nemesis and my nemesis is legion. And dumb.


Mom said...

But if you are driving my car, they can hear you coming and they are afraid - very afraid. They may stand very still and watch as you glide by, but they are in awe of something so big and so noisy.

So, don't panic (:-P) just be aware.

And, no, you can't have my car.

Strangeite said...

I have a superpower and a friend even bestowed me with a superhero (supervillian, depending on the perspective) name.


I have the remarkable ability to make perdictions on mundane events. AND THEY COME TRUE!!!!

It started one night when a group of us went to an outdoor concert. At said concert, one of our friends started getting all lovey-dovey with some strange guy. I succesfully perdicted that she was going to (i) tell us he was shipping out tomorrow, (ii) ask us to drive her car back home, (iii) not actually know his name when we asked her, (iv) leave the show with the guy before intermission and (v) never hear from the guy again.

I try to use my awesome power only for good. If not good, at least to make fun of my friends.

Strangeite said...

Sorry about the horrible spelling. My only excuse is that I have not finished my first cup of coffee.

Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

My superpower is to annoy the hell out of people with little effort or reason. It's a potent gift I feel compelled to share with all. ;-)