So, I talk to myself. I always have. It's just a habit I didn't ever grow out of. I used to worry that I was crazy, then I realized that of course, I was crazy and that was okay.
I talk to myself whenever I am alone, almost. In the basement doing laundry, in the shower, in the car, whatever. I talk to fill the silence. Sometimes I have hypothetical conversations. This is dangerous, because often I think I've told you something or we have talked about something and really I've just talked to myself about it.
Sometimes I interview myself. You know about The Great American Novel. Or about successfully bring Buffy the Vampire Slayer back to the big screen and the addition of Jessalynn (the pudgy, funny psychic that totally saves Xander from a future of demon women).
Sometimes I vent about things I'm mad about. Politics, religion, work stuff. The stuff it's hard to talk to real people about without offending someone.
I used to stop talking to myself in the car whenever I got close to another car. Because I didn't want to look crazy. You know, driving around in the car talking to myself, like some cat lady. Once in high school, I was in a car with a friend's dad and he spent the whole car trip making fun of a woman who was talking to herself in her car. I realized that people pay attention to that stuff.
Then, they invented cell phones and then, oh then, glorious then, they invented hands free sets. Now, I just talk away, assuming that everyone will think that I am on my cell phone with my hands free or my speakerphone or that nifty thing that makes your phone run through your radio.
Sometimes, I kinda forget that it's not entirely socially acceptable to talk to myself. After all, I'm a great listener and I always get my jokes. So, those times, I will be walking somewhere, say the restroom in my office building, muttering to myself about something and will open the door and see a gaggle of horrified women staring at me like I might pull out a gun and start picking them off.
I want to explain that even though I'm crazy, I'm a semi-pacifist and so I would never pick them off one by one, although I may someday be talking about it to myself.