Okay, so I really feel like I'm sucking at this blogging thing. I did really well for a long time and now I just totally forget I have one for weeks at a time. I blame the pregnancy brain. I blame that for everything right now, but maybe it's actually at fault for everything. I know it's at fault for me having to re-type the word actually 5 times just now.
I am definately feeling this pregnancy more than the last one. Although the morning sickness isn't quite as bad, or as long-lasting, the fatigue is killing me, I'm a total hormonal nutcase and I'm having the weirdest dreams in the world. Through my first pregnancies, I talked a lot about how we should be more direct with teenage girls about the side effects of pregnancy, the misery, the weariness, the sickness, the lack of sleep. If we were brutally honest about all the horrors of having that cute little angel inside you, it might make an impact on teenage pregnancy rates.
This time, however, I have a new perspective. I feel that pregnancy symptoms are all a preparation for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. It may seem temporary that you will have to drag yourself, barely awake, through even the most mundane day. But, it's not. What I have learned with a three-year old at home is that sleeping through the night, while a blessing, isn't a guarantee. There will be nights when your precious darling wakes every half hour on the half hour for no apparent reason. I'm guessing this will continue until they are at least in college. Of course, I can only hope that there will come a point where it is patently un-cool to climb in my bed because of those waking moments.
Likewise, morning sickness prepares you for your body's reaction to the myriad of new germs that you will face as a parent. I don't quite understand why this should be so, but it seems to be. Perhaps it's the same old germs, but the stress makes you react to them differently.
Random crying and screaming are also an established part of parenthood.
It seems unfair, then, that we should have to endure these symptoms with every child. As an experienced mother, shouldn't I be exempt? I know what's ahead and I'm going through with it anyway. Shouldn't that spare me from the pain? Or make me insane? Take your pick.
In any case, the good news is that I only have 30 weeks to go. 30 weeks. That is slightly less than a year. Sigh.
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