Guilty Pleasure Song

I'm going to attempt to do this memey thing called 30 Days of Song. I will not post this every day, because oh-my-pants-I'm-bored-already. Instead I'll post once or twice a week, as I feel like. So there. I am unrepentantly stealing this from Jen O. at My Tornado Alley. She rocks. I'm not sure if she stole it from somewhere, but here we go. 

A Song that's a Guilty Pleasure

Okay, so I've tried to kinda keep it clean, here. I did/am still sort of doing that whole "pants" thing. (Side note: it's really helped me with the not cussing in front of the kids thing, and it's kinda hillariuos when they say it.) And some of the songs I've featured have had a little bit of grit, but nothing downright offensive. But here's the thing - the category is Guilty Pleasure. That means that it has to give me pleasure while making me feel guilty. (There's no way to write that sentence without it sounding dirty.) So--WARNING--explicit lyrics. There you go. Now, here's the story:

Some nights, things are rough for me. And when they are, I almost always turn to music. I'm not a musical person. Seriously, it's scary how little aptitude I have for the musical arts. And very little appreciation, either. Once, in high school, someone made mention of a song only having three chords and I thought it was pretty cool you could write a whole song out of only three chords. Anyway, I'm a lyrics girl. And sometimes, lyrics say the things that you can't. Because you just can't come up with the words or make them beautiful enough. And sometimes, lyrics say the things you can't because you're a nice girl. For better or worse.



Day 1 - Your Favorite Song - White Blank Page
Day 2 - Your Least Favorite Song - Barbie Girl
Day 3 -  A Song that Makes You Happy - Birdhouse in Your Soul
Day 4 - A Song that Makes You Sad - Anna Begins
Day 5 - A Song that Reminds you of Someone - Friend of the Devil
Day 6 - A Song that Reminds you of Somewhere - Least Complicated
Day 7 - A Song that Reminds You of a Certain Event - Mrs. Potter's Lullaby
Day 8 - A Song that You Know All the Words To  - It's the End of the World as We Know It
Day 9 - A Song that You Can Dance to - Some Nights
Day 10 - A Song that Makes you Fall Asleep  - Ice Cream
Day 11 - A Song from your Favorite Band - Later On 
Day 12 - A Song from a band you Hate - Life is a Highway
Day 13 - A Song that is a Guilty Pleasure (today) - Loving You is the Dumbest Thing
Day 14 - A Song that No One Would Expect you to Love
Day 15 - A Song that Describes You
Day 16 - A Song that You Used to Love but Now Hate
Day 17 - A Song that You Hear Often on the Radio
Day 18 - A Song that You Wish You Heard on the Radio
Day 19 - A Song from your Favorite Album
Day 20 - A Song that You Listen to When You're Angry
Day 21 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Happy
Day 22 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Sad
Day 23 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Wedding
Day 24 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Funeral
Day 25 - A Song that Makes you Laugh
Day 26 - A Song that you Can Play on an Instrument
Day 27 - A Song that you Wish you Could Play
Day 28 - A Song that Makes you Feel Guilty
Day 29 - A Song from Your Childhood
Day 30 - Your Favorite Song at this Time Last Year

Making It! Dictionary Necklaces

The finished product

Months ago, I pinned some lovely necklaces on Pinterest using scrapbook paper and glass tiles, then recently, I saw a pin using the same basic theory, but dictionary pages. The wordy person in my was thrilled. And, after carefully considering who, exactly, needed these, I decided they would make lovely teacher's gifts.

Before I start, I'm going to tell you that I used the tutorial on the regular scrapbook paper pin because the pin for the dictionary pages was broken. It was a wonderful tutorial and Sabrina deserves huge thanks for her simple, complete instructions.



First, the cast of characters:

• Glass Tiles - I got square and rectangular
• Judikins Diamond Glaze (I made 13 and I haven't even put a dent in my bottle)
• Paint Brush
• Silver Bails
• Gorilla Super Glue

Total cost: $34.55. Materials are all sufficient to make 20 pendants, so $1.73/pendant

Now, the instructions:

Step 1: Cut your paper. I used pages from the dictionary with "teacherly" words. Since Maren has two classroom teachers, two afterschool teachers and I have a fairly close relationship with her director, and Brynna has a total of seven teachers on a regular basis, we had a lot to come up with. After I had decided where to cut, using the glass tile as a sight guide, I held the tile firmly in place and cut around the edge with an xacto knife that I had on hand. I lost it halfway through, though and finished up with a razor blade. Worked just as well.

Step 2: Adhere your paper to the tile. I found that three small drops of Diamond Glaze on the front of the paper was sufficient. After dropping on the glaze, I used a paint brush to make sure it was evenly spread. This stuff is a dream to work with and didn't cause any curling or other weirdness with the paper. After spreading it evenly, I pressed the tile down onto the paper and held it for about 30 seconds. The instructions said to do all this on wax paper and I didn't have any, so as soon as I stopped pressing, I picked it up and flipped it over onto a clean spot to avoid sticking to my self healing mat.

Step 3: Let Dry. Seriously. It doesn't take long. I paused and read goodnight stories and it was dry as a bone by the time I got back.

Step 4: Glaze the Back. This is why you use the Diamond Glaze. Using the same amount, and the brush, put a coat on the back of the paper. Make sure to get the edges. Let this dry and do another coat. I did about three and if I had a little more time, I think I would have done five. It makes the back sealed from the elements, but also glassy feeling, so it has the illusion that the paper is trapped in glass. It's very cool and worth the extra coats. After the first coat, I looked them all over carefully and "sanded" off any edges where the paper protruded with an emery board. Then, I made sure that edge was properly sealed again.

Step 5: Let it dry again. I waited about 24 hours. I would suggest not being skimpy this time. 

Step 6: Attach the bails. In the original instructions, it said to do this using E6000, but I missed that and didn't have time to order it. I could get Gorilla glue quickly and Gorilla glue is sort of up there with duct tape for me. (Don't duct tape them. It might hold, but it'll look messy.)

That's it! You're Done! This project was so easy and fun and turned out so nicely. The only thing that I will warn you about is that sometimes the dictionary makes uneasy bedfellows. 

Library and Lice, not so much.

Know and Koala, Cute!

All 13. Ready for ribbon and wrapping.

5 Things on Friday: Christmas Movie Edition

I'm a sucker for a good holiday movie. What I don't love is a bad holiday movie - and there are so, so many. It's not that I have particularly high standards. I will readily admit that some of these things are terrible. But terrible in a really lovable way.

5 Christmas Movies that Light Up My Tree

1. The classic - It's a Wonderful Life - I think that it is physically impossible to say anything about this 1946 tale of redemption and gratitude that hasn't already been said. Jimmy Stewart stars as George Bailey is a family man who decides that the best thing for his town, his family and his business is to commit suicide. Ready to jump off a bridge, George encounters an angel named Clarence (Henry Travers) who reminds him of how very much he is loved. It's sappy and schmaltzy. It's also overdone. This was considered the Christmas movie until Ralphie and his Red Rider deposed it. Everyone has seen It's a Wonderful Life and most people probably hate it by now. I love it. The touching story of redemption and remembering what's important and where you belong seems like home to me.

2. The kids movie - Prep and Landing - I'm gonna go ahead and admit that I loathe most kids' Christmas movies. Everything from Rudolph to the Grinch makes me Grinchy. And if you even suggest that Charlie Brown might have a place in my holiday home, I will cut you. And they don't seem to get much better. Every year, there's another slew of them and most of them are atrocious. So, I wasn't expecting much when I settled in on a cold night in 2009 to watch the newest Disney edition. Well, color me surprised. In this hyper-technical portrayal of the North Pole, the elf Wayne is training a new partner, the overenthusiastic Lanny. But as Wayne has become jaded with his position, Lanny reminds him of the joy of Christmas. This little flick (only a half hour) has the same vibe as Phineas and Ferb and the same wide-eyed joy as you had when you were eight.

3. The movie I'll never outgrow - The Polar Express - I read The Polar Express  for the first time through this year and I was a little disapointed. Not in the lack of Aerosmith, that was gratifying. I was disapointed in the lack of adventure. This movie is just one giant adventure after another. When an unnamed boy is questioning Santa, he is whisked to the North Pole on a magic train with other children on the cusp of not believing. This movie has taken a lot of heat for being sort of a vanity project for Tom Hanks, who plays every character. While that is a little creepy, I think the animation is intoxicating and the story is sweet and exciting at the same time. The Polar Express might not be the best movie ever made, but it fills my heart with a special kind of magic.

4. The made for TV flick - Snow - I'm gonna go ahead and admit that I have a wittle bitty crush on Tom Cavenaugh, who plays Santa in this ABC Family special. One of Santa's reindeer (Buddy) has been nabbed from the great North and transported down to San Earnest, California, by big game hunter Buck Seager (Patrick Fabian). Moving into a boarding house with Sandy (Ashley Williams), the zookeeper where the fledgling sleigh puller is being held, seems like his best chance of getting him back in time for Christmas. The only complication, Santa, or Nick Snowden falls for Sandy and wants her for the Mrs. Snow is cute and funny in a cocoa and cookies sort of way. Skip the sequel, it's totally not worth it.

5. The best Christmas movie of all - Hogfather - If you're not familiar with Terry Pratchet's Discworld books, you need to fix that right now. This sort of series set in a fictional world skewers everything about the world in which we live by showing us just how ridiculous things like the Post Office (Going Postal) and journalism (The Truth) really are. Susan, the adopted daughter of Death and full time nanny, gets pulled by her father into the search for the missing Hogfather (like Santa, but creepier) on Hogswatch Eve (like Christmas Eve, only meatier). Susan must deal with Mouse Death (like Death only more diminuitive), an assassin and the Tooth Fairy. Frankly, I'm not sure how anyone who isn't already invested in this series can keep up, but if you wanna give it a try, I highly recommend it.

I'll leave you with this snippet of conversation from Hogfather, a little bit of why I love it so fiercely. Merry Christmas and happy couch potatoing.

Death: Humans need fantasy to *be* human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.
Susan: With tooth fairies? Hogfathers?
Death: Yes. As practice, you have to start out learning to believe the little lies.
Susan: So we can believe the big ones?
Death: Yes. Justice, mercy, duty. That sort of thing. 

Sleeping with the Enemy

Shortly after the Ex left, Maren started climbing in my bed. I allowed it because I felt like it was due to a sense of instability and I wanted her to feel safe and secure. Since then, I've gone through varied periods of trying to do something about it.

I've bribed and asked politely. I've invoked the all-serious words of "big girl." I've even suggested that snakes (her most feared nemesis) are more likely to get into my room than hers. (Totally made up. I wouldn't sleep there either, if that were true.)

But most of the time, I let it be. She goes to bed in her own bed and then, at some point in the dark of night, she creeps into my room and slides silently into my bed and goes right back to sleep. She doesn't bother me any and she sleeps like the dead. I just don't feel, most of the time, like this is any sort of issue to be concerned with. I mean, who cares if she sleeps in my room? She's not going to go to college sleeping with her mother. At some point this is going to lose some of its charm.

But now I know that there is a problem. And it's not her problem, it's mine.

For the last few nights, I thought there were two totally unrelated phenomena happening.

1. Maren was sleeping through the night in her own bed, without a peep and without any encouragement from me.
2. I was restless, tossing and turning and just generally not sleeping very well.

Last night, I slept the sleep of the innocent and the drugged. (Even though I am neither. Currently.) Then, in the morning, I woke up, bleary-eyed and well-rested and turned over the check the clock. (That's your first clue. I slept well enough to beat the alarm clock at 5:45. Something is clearly up.) And what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a four year old and her stuffed reindeer. 

Apparently, I sleep better with her around now. Suddenly, sleep training takes a whole new direction.

And then there was talk of vocations...

A few days ago, Brynna asked me an intriguing question. "Mommy," she began, all sweetness and innocence, "What can I be when I grow up that I'll be good at and will make enough money that I can have a horse?"

I'm sorry, sweetie. Your mom has a degree in English literature. You are clearly asking the wrong person. 

Honestly, it started a very interesting conversation about vocation. She ruled out Doctor because she doesn't like blood and she wants time to play with her horse. She ruled out Teacher because they don't make enough. She ruled out Stylist because she wants her nights free. (For horse playing, I assume.)

In any case, she still doesn't know what she wants to be.

That's okay, pigeon, neither do I.

What made the conversation so interesting to me was the matter-of-fact nature with which she discussed her future. It wasn't all big dreams, there was a serious practical-ness there that I absolutely lack. I see what I want and what I can have as being on opposite sides of an impossible chasm. I see every profession that isn't "J.K. Rowling" as a failure and a compromise of my dreams.

Brynna sees it as a means to an end. She wants a horse. She wants to make art. She knows that she needs a paycheck to do those things. She doesn't think that her entire career has to revolve around those things for her to be happy.

I wonder sometimes how I raised such a well-adjusted child. Then she tries to sit on the cat and I know that it all comes out in the wash.
____________________________________________

I've been thinking about what I want to be, not in the vocational sense. The truth is that even though I kinda think it would be awesome to do something else, I'm good at what I do. I am talented and appreciated and I make okay money at it. I have a good boss who thinks I'm the bee's knees and I don't really need to do anything else.

So, what else do I want to be? Pretty? Smart? Skinny? Funny? Alpha-mom? Crafter extraordinaire?  Person who dances in the living room? Mom who makes awesome suppers? Baker? Badass? Reader? Writer? Yoga doer?

I don't know yet, but I think it's pretty amazing how many possibilities there are out there when you quit thinking about paychecks and start thinking about love.

On another note, Maren wants to be a "...Mudder, just like you, Mommy." I'm not sure I'm worth that sort of admiration, but I want to be someday.

Also, I'm assuming she means "Mother," and not "person who drives a truck around in the mud."

Five Things on Friday - Christmas Music that Won't Drive You Insane

Every year, on the day after Thanksgiving, I switch all my radios over to the all-holiday-music-all-the-time channels. No more rock, pop or country until December 31. Except...

This year, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had the awfullest time. And I'm not the only one. A whole bunch of us were just commiserating on Facebook about how not "Christmassy" we were feeling. I've made a brave show for the smalls, but as soon as they've gotten out of the car, the channel, she has flipped.

It doesn't help that Maren has decided that her favorite song is "Christmas Shoes" and Brynna's is "Last Christmas." Just tell me what have I done to deserve a schmaltzy wonder and a Wham! fan as children?

In any case, I've found some songs that have officially punted me into the season and didn't make me want to claw out my own eardrums in the process.

Five Christmas Songs that Make Me Merry

1. "Baby, It's Cold Outside," by Zooey Deschanel and Leon Redbone.


This has been one of my favorite holiday songs for years. And this version, from the Elf soundtrack is one of my favorites. I truly love Zooey Deschanel, though and this is sort of the best of her quirky, yet sultry voice.

2."Oh, Holy Night," by Weezer



Again, I've always loved this one, but it does drag a bit, right. Not when Weezer's at the mic.

3. "Shake it Santa," by Zendaya


So, I can't say that I really "like" this song, but I really love how much my kids light up when I play it. And Christmas is for the kids, I guess.

4. "Merry Christmas, Here's to Many More," by Reliant K


I love how this starts out sad and ends jubilant. And it hits the nail on the head about why I love Christmas so much. Everyone you love gathered around you.

5. "Sleigh Ride," by She and Him


I think we need one more Zooey number. "Sleigh Ride," always make me cheery. Happy Birthday, Farmer Gray.

Have you been short on holiday spirit? What's helped you get out of the doldrums?

This is my Cop Out Post

I've started a new post about 17 times today and finished none of them. But I'm running out of daylight and I have been doing so well with blogging every day (almost two weeks FTW) so I decided to this. Instead I will write a list for you of all the blog posts I almost wrote today:

• Why 80's Cartoons Sucked and Why They Were Still Superior to Today's Cartoons
• A Hilarious Re-Enactment of My Daughter's Projectile Vomiting
• Why I Feel Guilty About Everything
• The Trouble with Christmas Music
• I'm Borrowing Books From My Kid - Awesome or Sad?

But instead, I just gave you a list. The good thing is that now I have these written down and I might go back on another day and turn one of them into a post. But I might not. Out of curiosity, if I did, what would you be most interested in hearing?

Mini No More

So, after years of defending the minivan in general and bashing my minivan in specific, I finally decided it was time to call it quits.

My van, for those of you who don't obsess over my car havingness, was a disaster. A giant money pit of doom. The devil's own vehicular torture chamber. 

The brakes were forever going bad, even just weeks after having them worked on. I had replaced the air conditioning compressor to make the car run but, clearly, not to make the air conditioner work, since it didn't. I replaced the transmission. I had the triad lights of doom on my dash that no one could explain to me. The VCR didn't work. It had a VCR. It revved funny when you were idling and sometimes randomly died in traffic. 

I hated it and lived in fear of it. Now I live in pity of whatever idiot picked that sucker up at auction. 

I don't know what was wrong with it, maybe it was flooded (that was the best theory any of us ever came up with). Maybe it was haunted. Or possessed. Or maybe it was already dead but zombiefied. That would have explained some stuff. 

In any case, it had to go. And despite my epic love of the infinite hauling capacity of the minivan and all the mommy-specific bells and whistles, I really wanted something else. Something fun. Something that didn't scream soccer mom for all the world. 

My reasoning was as follows: my whole life I have endeavored to make the most responsible decision. Never the one that was right for me, or the one that I really wanted, but the most responsible decision. (My college major excluded. Although to my credit, the English Literature department lied to me with their fancy-schmancy list of "Things You can do with an English Degree. Strangely, spend the rest of your life struggling to pay your student loans did not make the list.) And every one of those stupidly responsible decisions screwed me. Every stinkin' one. 

I'm done with it. By "it" I mean sacrificing in the name of some bizarre self-defined sense of responsibility. I'll still be responsible because, well, parenthood sort of lends itself that way. But I'll also be true to myself. 

Step 1: Red. Jeep. 

Oh yes, she is. I've been driving said Jeep of happiness for a little over a month. And let me tell you what... I have never been more in love. 

Please allow me to wax rhapsodic: I like to drive. I love to drive. I will drive anywhere, anytime for any reason. Driving is my peace, my joy, my complete and utter separation from the rest of the world. Driving, for me, is like meditation but without all the ohming. 

Cars today are all about minimizing the experience of driving. It's all designed to make you feel like you are not driving. Like you are in point of fact, sitting in your living room, watching a really boring show about the road. Everything is there to minimize road noise, even out the ride and generally make you forget entirely that you are driving. I wonder if this contributes to people falling asleep at the wheel. 

In any case, my Jeep, my pretty little lady, does not do that. I can hear the road. I can feel the road. I bounce a little when I go over bumps. And it's trail rated, so I don't feel all guilty and panicky when it bounces. It is heaven. 

I am vair happy, is what I'm trying to say. 

And I shall call her October.
After October Daye? By Seanan McGuire? Seriously?

A Song From a Band I Hate

I'm going to attempt to do this memey thing called 30 Days of Song. I will not post this every day, because oh-my-pants-I'm-bored-already. Instead I'll post once or twice a week, as I feel like. So there. I am unrepentantly stealing this from Jen O. at My Tornado Alley. She rocks. I'm not sure if she stole it from somewhere, but here we go. 

A Song from a Band I Hate

I truly believe that Rascal Flats is the country music equivalent to Nickelback. No one admits to liking them, but someone is showing up to their full arena concerts and purchasing those millions of tickets.

I'm not even sure what I find so offensive about Rascal Flats. Maybe that's just it, there's very little there. Nothing to love, nothing to hate, nothing to get all emotional about. You know how much I love to get all emotional.

So, I feel it's sort of cheating to say that I really love their version of "Life is Highway." After all, it's a cover of Tom Cochrane's hit with all the sort of sexy undertones downplayed for the Disney/Pixar masses. And yet...

And yet, I find it catchier and rockier than the original. Which probably means that I should be burned at the stake. Plus, I really love Lightning McQueen.



Day 1 - Your Favorite Song - White Blank Page
Day 2 - Your Least Favorite Song - Barbie Girl
Day 3 -  A Song that Makes You Happy - Birdhouse in Your Soul
Day 4 - A Song that Makes You Sad - Anna Begins
Day 5 - A Song that Reminds you of Someone - Friend of the Devil
Day 6 - A Song that Reminds you of Somewhere - Least Complicated
Day 7 - A Song that Reminds You of a Certain Event - Mrs. Potter's Lullaby
Day 8 - A Song that You Know All the Words To  - It's the End of the World as We Know It
Day 9 - A Song that You Can Dance to - Some Nights
Day 10 - A Song that Makes you Fall Asleep  - Ice Cream
Day 11 - A Song from your Favorite Band - Later On 
Day 12 - A Song from a band you Hate - Life is a Highway (today)
Day 13 - A Song that is a Guilty Pleasure
Day 14 - A Song that No One Would Expect you to Love
Day 15 - A Song that Describes You
Day 16 - A Song that You Used to Love but Now Hate
Day 17 - A Song that You Hear Often on the Radio
Day 18 - A Song that You Wish You Heard on the Radio
Day 19 - A Song from your Favorite Album
Day 20 - A Song that You Listen to When You're Angry
Day 21 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Happy
Day 22 - A Song that you Listen to when You're Sad
Day 23 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Wedding
Day 24 - A Song that you Want to Play at your Funeral
Day 25 - A Song that Makes you Laugh
Day 26 - A Song that you Can Play on an Instrument
Day 27 - A Song that you Wish you Could Play
Day 28 - A Song that Makes you Feel Guilty
Day 29 - A Song from Your Childhood
Day 30 - Your Favorite Song at this Time Last Year

Four Love

Fried ice cream and joy. And a big hat. 

Four years ago today, I got up nervous and excited. So nervous that I walked out the door without Brynna's lunch and had to go back for it after I dropped her off. So nervous that I almost left behind my suitcase, but so excited that I checked five times to make sure I had my camera.

Four years ago, I was anticipating Maren. The joy of a planned c-section is a complete lack of surprise. Some people miss that. For me, it meant that I got to focus on the most important surprise: who would she be?

Would she be pretty? Would she be smart? Would she be tall or crazy or funny? Would she love SciFi or Barbies or Lego's? Who would this little girl be?

Four years later, today, the anniversary of the day that I got to meet the embodiment of joy, I can answer so many of those questions.

She is beautiful with her curly hair and chubby cheeks and most importantly - that smile that just won't quit.

She is smart, learning faster than I can teach and picking up on her own things that I can't even imagine.

She is tall (most people think she's five or six), crazy and so very funny.

She loves everything including SciFi, Barbies and Lego's. But mostly, she loves cars, animals and babies.

Everyday with her is an adventure. An amazing adventure. Maren is who I want to be when I grow up - full of wonder, love, kindness, compassion and hope. And completely willing to tell you that what she really needs is a nap.

Watching her this weekend, I realized just how very much she's grown. And part of me wants to freeze her here forever, keep just this amazing little creature around til the end of the world. But a bigger part of me can't wait to see the rest. The answers to the questions I haven't thought to ask yet.

I can't wait to see what those answers look like after another four years. Or fourteen or forty. I want to see the woman she becomes because I'm so amazed by the child she is.